Guilty Gear Halloween Specials
by TRUE Unknown
Summary: Here's Chapter 14! It's a haunted house, that's alive, and Baiken gets hurt. As well as Chipp. Hmm... I'm gonna have to think hard for the next one. discontinued
1. Axl's Time and Punishment

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons, or their Halloween episodes.

I wave the right for you to sue me.

--

(This one may be quite familiar to you; Axl and Sol are in said British man's apartment)

Axl: You know what? Just because I'm not in my own time, with my girlfriend Megumi, in my wonderful time period of 19-something-something, it doesn't stop me from realizing that I have some wonderful friends in this time period. Like you, chief!

Sol: Shut up, Axl.

Axl: And now, I'll make us some toast! 

(puts a piece in the toaster; toaster turns on; hand is stuck in toaster)

Axl (screaming): YAH!! HOT! HOT! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!! (hits it against a wall a few times, finally dislodges it) Now that was a close one. (sits down, and…)

Sol: You dumb idiot. It's in there again!

Axl: AAAHHH!!! IT'S HOT!!!

(some time passes… Axl just fixed his toaster, put bandages on his burns, and Sol wonders why he is still there.)

Axl (amazed): Okay chief! The toaster's fixed, and it's ready to go!

Sol (not showing any care in his voice): Whoop-de-doo.

Axl: Now to take it, (takes out a piece of sliced bread) for a test toast!

(Axl pops in a toast, but it starts to glow mysteriously… the minute Axl touches it to see what's wrong, he gets caught in some blinding light, and he vanishes.)

Sol: He ****ed time over once more. (walks away) Good for him.

(Meanwhile, in some mystical dimension, Axl is twirling around)

Axl (stupefied): OH my God! I'm the first human, to **correctly** go back in time!

Mr. Peabody (from Rocky and Bullwinkle): Correction, you are the second.

Annoying boy who always travels with Mr. Peabody: That's great, Mr. Peabody!

Mr. Peabody (quite irritated): Quiet you!

(Axl finally gets out of strange dimension, and ends up in some time period that looks like 64,000,000 BC…)

Axl: Wow… I've traveled to the time where dinosaurs roamed freely, and Gears **didn't** try to ravage the Earth! But I have to remember what my Pa told me…

Memory of Axl's Pa (sounding matter-of-factly): If you ever go back in time, don't step on anything! Because even the _slightest_ mishap can change the future in ways that you can barely even imagine! Now get a job, you druggie!

Axl: Now, to follow my pa's advice, except for the getting the job bit, if I just stand right here, and do absolutely nothing, I will not screw up the world… again… (sees an irritating mosquito) Stupid BUG! I CUT YOU NOW! (uses his weapon to expertly cut up the bug; realizes what he did) But that was… just one insignificant little insect… The future isn't going to be manipulated in horrible ways… isn't it?

(A triceratops walks behind him, shrugs its shoulders in indifference, and the toaster finally pops out the test toast; Axl travels back to his apartment)

Axl: Well, that was scary.

(goes back into the kitchen to find the entire cast of Guilty Gear X2, minus one person, sitting around doing nothing. Suddenly, a monitor appears with Slayer's face on it)

Slayer: Well hello. How are things, my denizens of the night?

All (hypnotized): All is fine.

Axl: Hey! How come that mysterious man is on TV? That dumb old geezer! (a siren goes off)

Slayer: Hm… it seems like not all of you have been indicted into the powers of the night! STOP HIM!!

Sol (hypnotized): I'm surprised at you, Axl. Don't you remember the day that Slayer became the unquestioned lord and master of the world?

Axl: … AAAAAHHHHH!!! (grabs the same piece of toast, and puts it in again; warps)

(He warps back to the Jurassic period, where he sees himself about to kill the mosquito.)

Axl #2 (annoyed): Stupid BUG! I CUT YOU NOW!

Axl: No! Don't!!

Axl #2: Who are you?

Axl: I'm you. 

Axl #2: Oh, makes sense.

(A T-Rex appears in front of them, and roars at them)

Both Axls: AAAAHHHH!!!

(they start running, making sure they don't step on anything vital for the future [Both Axls: MUSN'T CRUSH! MUSN'T KILL!!]; when they reach a beach shore, they both sit down)

Axl #2: That was close.

Axl (unintentionally flailing his weapon around): That sure was. (the blades kill Axl #2) Damn it. I wish I didn't kill me… (toaster pops up, and he warps once more, leaving the other Axl to rot; confusing, ain't it?)

(Warps back to his apartment, where he finds not a single person. He walks out of his apartment to see a sunny day out, and three figures out in the distance. Remember, what happens here is an alteration of history no thanks to Axl.)

Axl: HEY! That's the chief! HEY CHIEF!!

(In the distance…) 

Sol (actually happy; puts one arm around Dizzy): My daughter… (and one arm around…) and my new son-in-law… Though you, boy, have to get some new clothes! I've been alive for so long, yet I think this sight is actually putting tears of joy in my eyes!

Bridget (worried; if you didn't get it yet, Bridget and Dizzy married each other): Is he drunk?

Dizzy: Most possibly. That's how he was ever since Axl died when he fell in the Mariana Trench.

(The Mariana Trench is the deepest ocean trench in the world)

Sol (now actually crying): That dumb **** just didn't listen! He was my one true friend! All he had to do was walk over! He was trying to be cool!

Bridget: Don't worry, gramps. 

Sol (normal tone): Don't **ever** call me that.

Dizzy: Well… I didn't want to tell you this… but I'm carrying his child.

Sol (stunned for a second; now happy once more): I'M GONNA BE A GRANDPA! Come here!! (hugs both Bridget and Dizzy)

Axl (was running over to them): Hey chief! (looks up: he altered the future so that people we're freaking **giants**!) WHOA!! What did I do!? What have I done!? What more will I do!!??

Sol (looks down at Axl): Hey. There's a bug that looks like Axl.

Bridget and Dizzy: LET'S KILL IT!

Sol: OKAY!!

Axl: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! (avoids a falling barrage of Fire seal, NecroWing, and Yo-yo; and warps once more…)

(… Back to the prehistoric period, where he sees the other two Axls sitting down on the beach) 

Axl #2: That was close.

Axl: WAIT! DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE!

Axl #2 and #3: Huh?

(The T-Rex appears out of nowhere and eats the other two Axls)

Axl: GOD ****ING DAMN IT! (dust was kicked up as the T-Rex was going to finish off the real Brit; his nose twitches and) ACHOOO!!

(The T-Rex's nose starts to sniffle a bit, sneezes as well, then plops over and dies; another dinosaur dies, and so forth, until it rages like a domino effect.)

Axl (disappointed): This is gonna cost me… also considering that that tyrannosaurus also ate 2 of me!

(warps back to his apartment, where he sees Sol dressed in all nice clothes, his ponytail and large hair brought down to a short draft, and Axl's apartment looking all clean.)

Axl (screaming in agony): WHY MUST THE FUTU—Huh? (impressed) Hey… this is ****ing sweet. Hey chief.

Sol: Good day to you, Axl. You were gone for such a long time that I kept the place tidy for you.

Axl (playing along): How long was I gone for?

Sol: Well, in the time span that you were gone, let's see… that girl Millia settled things with Eddie once and for all, and she's quite happily married with Venom; I found my long-lost daughter Dizzy; my best friend Ky married some Chinese waitress; and (a bit sadden) sadly, my wife just passed away. I'm heading to her funeral right now.

Axl (saddened): I'm sorry for your loss, chief. 

Sol: Oh I-No… I miss you so…

Axl: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (runs off screaming and warps once more)

Sol: Oh no… (it's raining Chipp) it's raining again…

(Axl warps to his apartment once more, where he sees Chipp.)

Chipp: You're so stupid! You're still not in the time you belong to.

Axl (confused): You mean like the 20th century or the 22nd century?

Chipp (angry): Do I really give a damn on where you actually belong!? Now shut up, and do exactly what I tell y—(gets a scythe, katana, anchor, yo-yo, scalpel, fan, and wing through his chest) AUGH!!! (dies)

Superior being speaking through Testament, Johnny, May, Bridget, Faust, Anji, and Dizzy (dark and evil voice): This is indeed a disturbing universe.

(warp back into the past, where Axl is, well, flaming pissed)

Axl (flaming pissed): Don't touch anything? I'LL TOUCH WHATEVER THE HELL I FEEL LIKE!!! 

(Axl's reign of terror starts with him cutting up some foliage, then steps on a little lizard, brings a giant insect down with his weapon, and kills the T-Rex that was about to eat two Axls.)

Axl #2: Hey, thanks!

Axl #3: That's so great!

Axl #4: Kudos to you!

(Not really giving a damn anymore, he starts to cut up and kill the other three Axls, leaving their dismembered corpses rotting as he warps again. He ends up altering the world in these many ways:

- The Earth was shaped like Testament's bird

- Hot dog packages did come in 10 and Hot dog buns came in 10 as well.

- No man was born with testicles.

And etc.)

That Man: Foolish Axl…

Raven: He does not know yet the true responsibilities of time travel!

(They laugh idiotically, until… do I have to do this… their heads explode.)

(And finally…)

Axl (appears back at his apartment): I certainly hope everything is okay now… (goes to his kitchen, sees Sol) CHIEF!! CHIEF!!! (panicking) Chief, what's the color of the sky? What the hell is my name? Are you married!? HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW YOU'RE A GEAR!? FOR THE LOVE OF CRIPES, CHIEF, TELL ME!!!

Sol (slaps punches him in the face to shut him up): The sky is blue, your name is Axl, I am not married, you're a retard if you have to ask these sort of questions, and how the **** **do** you know I'm a Gear?

Axl: Boy, (relieved) am I relieved. Oh, (pulls something out of his pocket) here's the test toast.

Sol (takes it and bites it): It's about average.

Axl: I'm actually quite re—(interrupted by Sol kissing Axl on the lips)

Sol (ends it): Well, later. (leaves)

Axl: … … Meh. Good enough.

--

Oh, there will be more. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

Review, please.


	2. May's King Johnny

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons, or their Halloween episodes.

I wave the right for you to sue me.

--

(Here's episode two: A film noir. A lone anchor girl walks up to Venom, the long-haried expeditionist and Eddie the assistant.)

May: Hi. My name is May. I'm here about the ad you placed: "Young Girl aged 13-18 needed; can't get sea-sick; must like beasts; Non-smoker preferred." Was that the right ad?

Venom: Yes, it is.

May: How come you didn't want a non-smoker?

Venom: We don't want our hunted—I mean, subject, to get sick.

Eddie (demon Eddie, not Zato-Eddie): Besides, it'll liven up the crew here!

(Turns to see Potemkin and Ky arguing)

Potemkin: My brand of justice is better!

Ky: No, my brand of justice is better!

Potemkin: MINE!!

  
Ky: MINE!!

(Turn scene to a scene on a boat sailing, with three deckhands on a crow's nest.)

Chipp: Holy Zen! We're heading to Johnny Island!

Anji: Yeah, to capture the elusive beast, Johnny! (disappointed) Though, I wish we we're going to Heaven-sent Island!

Testament: Heaven-sent Island? (excited) What do they have there?

Chipp: Beasts. But they're not so demonic!

(Mysterious noises chanting the name Johnny become quite hearable to the ship.)

Slayer (the boat captain): Who is this 'Johnny' they speak of?

Venom: He's either a very demonic beast, or a tourist attraction meant to elude the commoner and steal their wallets.

Eddie (has money out, thinking it really _was_ a tourist attraction): Um, yes, I knew that too!

(The boat hits the island, where the intrepid [?] explorers see a bunch of women, mutter and chant the name 'Johnny' as they circle around a fire)

Venom: Now, (quietly) let's try not to make a sound…

Eddie: I'll see what's happening… (Sprouts a Mini-Eddie) Go see what they're doing.

(The Mini-Eddie skulks quietly in the grass; gets eaten by a bear)

Eddie: Son of a—

Venom: Shut up.

(One of the natives sees a giant anchor from the grass; Good one, May.)

April (the native that saw her; speaking in Native tongue): MAHINATOKONOI! SHINBUSA DENAIYO!! (Translation: We will take that! She will please Johnny well!)

May (to Venom): What did they say?

Venom: Um, (sweat drop) Uh, they said they wouldn't _dream_ of sacrificing the anchor-carrying girl!

May (oblivious): Well, that's so nice—AAHH!! (gets nabbed)

(Much later, May is tied up in almost a strange, yet twisted bondage type get-up, struggling and screaming to be released. On the other side of the island, we see a giant Justice taking on a giant beast with a sharpened stick and straw hat [Oh Johnny, what have you done to yourself?])

Justice: DIE!!

Johnny (incapable of speech; though if he were speaking, he'd say right now "Kiss my ass, you metallic bastard!): AAGH UGH AGH!!

(Justice dies; Johnny hears a gong; He walks over and stubs his toe on a boulder)

Johnny (loud): AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

(Back to May, still struggling, and Venom and the others are waiting for the right opportunity to strike; on cue, the Johnny beast looks down at May, smiles, and picks her up, which makes May scream even more so)

Chipp (bored): Holy Zen! How long is this going to take?

Anji: Keep it down.

May (struggling in the beast's hand): Let go of me!

(On command, Johnny puts May down, plucks a garden of flowers somewhere around him, and gives it to May.)

May (blushes; covered in flowers): Why, thank you!

Venom: NOW WE DON'T WANT TO KILL HIM!! Shoot him in the **groin** area! **GROIN**! I cannot specify myself any further than that!

(Anji and Chipp fire one cannonball at Johnny, then another, then grab Testament for some unknown reason and fires him at Johnny)

Testament: AAAAHHHH—(gets eaten; pops out of Johnny's mouth) Hey Johnny, cut it out! Otherwise, I'll poison you from the inside-out! Do you want that?

(Johnny makes a sign language, stating "I'll take that chance.")

Testament: Oh. At least let me say goodbye to my—(turns around to see Anji teaching Chipp some Japanese)

Anji: Maho means magic. Maho Shojo means…

  
Chipp: Magical Girl!

Anji: Correct!

Testament: **Now** you can eat me--YAH—(gets eaten)

Venom: Have at thee!! (Fires a Dark Angel at him) DARK ANGEL!!

(Johnny swats the Dark Angel back at Venom and knocks him out)

Eddie: INVITE HELL!!

(Giant drills of darkness poke at Johnny, making him collapse…)

Venom (coming back to his senses): Great job, Eddie! When we get back, I'll find you another host!

(Johnny, though still unconscious, eats Eddie)

Eddie (his loud dying quote as he falls to Johnny's stomach, being digested): ORE WA SUROO SUTAATAA NAN DA YO!!! (digested; Johnny sighs happily)

Venom (quite happy that Eddie died): Oh well.

(Now, in a theater, the marvelous beast will be shown in front of a marvelous crowd. But first things first…)

Zappa (was on stage, performing something else before Johnny goes on): THANK YOU! YOU'RE ALL WONDERFUL!! I'M ONLY HERE THURSDAYS!! (walks off)

Faust (a diligent reporter towards Venom): Now, what do you have for us tonight?

Venom: Well, the beast is basically going to stand up there for an hour or so… and then we'll end with the comedy stylings of Chipp Zanuff and Anji Mito-san. It would have been Chipp Zanuff, Anji Mito, and Testament, but unfortunately, when Johnny relieves himself… well, you know the rest…

Faust: Sensational!

(now on stage)

Venom: Where he came from, he was king! Now I bring him to you in chains! I present to you: Johnny, the tenth wonder of the world!!

(curtains reveal a chained Johnny beast on a really large platform…)

Axl (a guy in the audience): WOW! Look at the size of those chains! Talk about animal cruelty!!

(people all of a sudden start taking pictures of Johnny, flash photography style and all; Johnny is starting to get enraged, grunting and ook-ook-ooking loudly)

May (concerned): I think you're hurting him.

Faust: Don't worry! What's he going to do? Run amok in downtown Hollywood?

(You guessed it: Johnny rips the chains off of his body, and almost all the people start running)

Faust (knowing he's going to die?): YAMIIIIIIIIIII!!! (gets stepped on)

Johnny: UGH! RUGH!!!

Axl: Hey Johnny! (being kind) Want a peanut?

(Johnny takes Axl and eats him; spits Axl out because he didn't like the way Axl tasted like homely donkey)

Axl: HEY! MY ****ING PEANUTS! I ONLY SAID ONE!!! (starts kicking Johnny's shin; Johnny is not affected)

(The beast now walks straight through three walls, and sees an I-No concert; he likes the music at first, but then)

I-No (just finished playing a song; horny-sounding): THANK YOU!! (gets grabbed by Johnny and eaten) 

(Meanwhile, in a hotel room)

Venom (sitting, hands on his chin): Maybe it was wrong for me to take that beast and stage him for a profit… Maybe I shouldn't have taken him from his natural habitat…

May: **Maybe** it was… (looks out the window to see Johnny looking at them) Hi Johnny!

(Johnny grabs May, whereas she starts screaming again)

Venom (not noticing May is gone): Maybe… he's not used to these colder temperatures… (looks back, sees that May is gone) Son of a—

(Johnny is now climbing up a large building, which is a cliché to all the King Kong movies, or maybe just the original… Anyway, Johnny knows that he's climbing really high, and is going all the way… two planes come down, then leave quickly)

Robo Ky #1: He's sure taking his sweet-ass time!

Robo Ky #2: Better refuel ourselves!

(Johnny has climbed to the top of the building, and is sweating almost heavily…)

May: Um, Johnny, you looked a little flushed. Maybe you should stick to a vegetable/grain diet instead of a meat/flesh diet!

Johnny: (nods; clutches his heart in pain) URGH!!!

(While still clutching May in his grasps, he falls to the ground from 200 miles, or meters as people should call it now; he makes a large crack in the asphalt; a crowd gathers)

May: HE'S NOT DEAD!!!

Venom: No, but his career is. It was like that time when 'That Man' went crazy on his tour of France and climbed the Arc de Triomphe. He wasn't allowed in public again…

May (hugging Johnny's face): Don't worry, Johnny… I'll take care of you.

(Johnny's eyes bolt open, and he starts running, screaming in terror as he runs towards the ocean in an attempt to escape and to return to his home)

May (heart-broken): JOHNNY!! COME BACK!!

Venom: Oh May. You lose more men that way.

(Everyone laughs, then May looks at the hair-concealed face of Venom…)

(Much later; the front article states that May marries Venom by force; oh, and somewhere around there states that Hitler-2 and Zato-2 has conquered Iraq, and then lost it two hours after they conquered it. Goody.)

(More will come. As usual, maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but someday…)


	3. Zappa's Faust Doll from Hell

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons, or their Halloween episodes.

I **waive** the right for you to sue me. Better?

--

(Here's episode three: a very happy Zappa is walking towards his house in jolly Australia, when he sees a little 8-year old boy running towards him)

Little Boy: Hey Zappa!! (hugs him) 

Zappa: Why… Jimmy McDungery! How have you been? Have you been treating your mama with respect?

Jimmy: Yep! So where were you?

Zappa: Well Jimmy, I was infected by a mental parasite named S-ko, and this nice doctor named Faust helped me out! Although he didn't get rid of S-ko, he gave me something that is capable of letting me control myself whenever I summon demons and spirits alike.

(Raoh emerges from Zappa)

Raoh: THAT IS TRUE!!

Jimmy: Did you forget it was my birthday today?

Zappa: What!? (actually forgot, but seems to be trying to cover it up) Why, of course I didn't forget! Just wait right here, and I'll be right back with your gift!!

Raoh: WHAT COULD I GIVE TO LITTLE HUMAN CHILD? (gets an idea, gives him his astral cape) LIKE IT?

Jimmy: Wow! Thanks, Mr. Scary Demon!

Raoh: NO PROB! (looks around) WHERE DID ZAPPA GO?

(In downtown, Zappa is looking for an available store to buy little Jimmy McDungery a gift; suddenly, he sees this one small store shrouded in black… Zappa cautiously enters)

Zappa (nervous): Hello?

Raspy Voice: In the back…

Zappa: Okay…

(Zappa keeps walking until he sees this old, wrinkly man, frightening in appearance.)

Zappa: YYYAAAHHH!!!

Kliff: Don't be frightened. 

Zappa: Um, do you sell dolls?

Kliff: I only sell mystical artifacts, and any evil scrolls of doom… I also sell frozen yogurt, which I call "Frogurt"!

Zappa: So do you have any toys/dolls?

Kliff: Yes. (throws him a gift-wrapped box) Inside this box is a toy that might amuse the young recipient. Is the child a girl?

Zappa (dreading it might be a Barbie 2180 doll): NO!

Kliff: Well then, may I have that back? (Zappa gives back the doll and receives a new box) **This** will amuse the young recipient.

Zappa (satisfied): I'LL TAKE IT!

Kliff (evil-sounding): But be warned… The doll is cursed!

Zappa (sad): Oh man! I'm already cursed with a mental parasite!

Kliff (happy): But it comes with a free Frogurt!

Zappa: Now that makes it all worthwhile!

Kliff (evil-sounding): The Frogurt is also cursed!

Zappa (sad once more): Now that sucks.

Kliff: But it comes with your choice of toppings!

Zappa (happy): Now that is also good!

Kliff: The toppings are made of 1,2-Dibromocyclomethane! (nothing happens for a few seconds) Um, that's bad.

Zappa: Um, can I go now? (leaves)

(Scene to Jimmy's birthday party, where all the kids are seeing Raoh trying to hit a Piñata with his mighty hammer)

Raoh: WHERE ARE YOU, DAMNED HORSE!?

Zappa (eating a Frogurt): Hey Jimmy! 

Jimmy: Zappa! (runs up to him) What's in the box?

Zappa: It's your present! (thinking) I hope it's good.

(Jimmy opens the box to see a limited edition Faust doll in its original packaging, and comes with a plastic scalpel and a **real** scalpel for medical emergencies.)

Jimmy: WOW! A FAUST DOLL! THANKS, ZAPPA!! (opens the box, and pulls on a string)

Faust Doll: My name is Dr. Faust, and I think you're my best patient!

Zappa: Wow… even when Dr. Faust is not visibly here, he is here. Mind if I sit on the couch until we eat cake? I did just come from Zepp, and believe me; it's hard to get down from there!

Jimmy: Go right ahead.

Raoh: CAKE!! (realizes) WAIT! I CAN'T EAT! I'M A SPIRIT!!

(Zappa sits on the couch in the den; he looks away; all of a sudden, the Faust doll is sitting right next to him)

Zappa: How the? (decides to pull the string on the doll)

Faust Doll: My name is Dr. Faust, and you are an evil I must cleanse from the Earth.

Zappa: Heh heh… catchy lines.

Faust Doll: My name is Dr. Faust, and I'm going to operate on you while you are still conscious!

Zappa: Heh heh… I didn't even pull the string that time.

Faust Doll (head turns to face Zappa): I meant that! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU! MR. ZAPPA!!

Zappa (annoyed): Oh go to hell. (throws him aside)

(Now, the Faust doll pulls out the **real** scalpel and is starting to run towards Zappa)

Zappa (scared): YYYAAAHHH!!!

Jimmy (walking in): What's going on, Zappa?

Zappa: The-The Faust doll! THAT FAUST DOLL OF YOURS TRIED TO KILL ME!!

(they both stare at the lifeless Faust doll…)

Jimmy: Maybe you're still delusional from the spirits… Why don't you take a shower? Here puppy! 

Ghost Dog: Woof. 

(Jimmy plays with Zappa's ghost dog as they leave the room)

Zappa (scared): Don't leave me!

(The Faust doll is now walking slowly, laughing evilly towards Zappa… he stops laughing, and kindly points to Zappa to pull on the string; Zappa kindly obliges, which resumes the evil laughter…)

(A little later, we see Zappa in the shower, taking little Jimmy McDungery's advice.)

Zappa (horrible singing): I'M SUCH A LONELY GUY!

I NEED A LOVE BRIDGE!

THE THREE GHOSTS ARE HASSLING THE NEIGHBORS!

AND RAOH IS TAUNTING THE FRIDGE!!

(along came the Faust doll, with his scalpel attached to some scissors)

Faust Doll: Time to beach a whale!! (throws the scalpel)

(Zappa misses the shot, starts to scream, and bolts out of the bathroom naked, running past Jimmy's mother and 11-year old sister; both are speechless)

(In a doll-house, we see the Faust doll talking to a girl doll in a toy bed; Zappa happened to see this doll as he walked past Jimmy's older sister's room; he and the ghost dog start to sneak up behind it)

Faust Doll (acting like a doctor in a soap opera; looking at a toy clipboard): Well, my dear, if the operation goes successfully, then you will be living a long and healthy life! But, these operations only have a slim chance of success. You are aware of the risks involved? Then let us begin the procedure! (using the scalpel, he cuts open the doll, playing an operation)

(Zappa grabs the enchanted doll and throws it into a bag of the ghost dog's… well… you know)

Faust Doll: You think your dog's manure can stop me!? WELL… (getting nauseous) These fumes are making me a little dizzy… Oy… (falls unconscious with a squish sound to follow)

Zappa (pets the dog): Good boy. Now, I'll be back, and if Raoh does something weird, bite him a few times!

Ghost Dog: Woof.

(Zappa starts hauling the bag towards Crikey Canyon [let's just say it's a 4,000 km drop] and upon arrival, he throws the bag down the canyon.]

Zappa (relieved): Goodbye, dolly! (slips, and almost falls to his death if the bloody sword didn't catch him by the handle) Thanks!

Bloody Sword: IT'S OKAY!

(The sword pulls Zappa up and he walks away satisfied; meanwhile, Anji, Baiken, and Chipp start hauling a large box towards the canyon)

Chipp (saddened): Do I have to do this?

Baiken: It's the only way you'll ever truly quit.

Anji: It's true.

Chipp: Alright… (in a grieving tone) GOODBYE, DRUGS!

(They push the crate down, the two of them taking a crying Chipp back to the Colony; meanwhile, Potemkin is holding a giant box)

Potemkin: What was I thinking? No one would pay good money to see nude pictures of **me**. (throws the box down feeling satisfied; before he could walk away, the box jumps back into his arms) What the!?

(Now, back to Zappa, who is walking back to Jimmy's house for some cake; until)

Faust Doll: NOW! (jumps up into the air, getting Zappa's attention)

Zappa: NOOOO!!! 

Faust Doll: METEOR DESTROYS FIELD MOUSE!!!

(The Faust doll leaps onto Zappa's face, and all the Australian could do is just scream and run blindly)

Jimmy: What's happening? (looks outside) OH MY GOD!!

Zappa: JIMMY! THE DOLL'S TRYING TO KILL ME, AND YOUR TOASTER'S LAUGHING AT ME!!!

(Jimmy runs off trying to find someone to save Zappa, when lo and behold, the **real** Faust happened to walk by)  
  
Jimmy: Dr. Faust! Dr. Faust!

Faust: What is it, little Jimmy?

Jimmy: Mr. Zappa is getting attacked by a Faust Doll!

Faust: WHAT!? (confused) I thought they stopped making those… How bad is it killing him?

(The doll is trying to rip Zappa's tongue out)

Faust: Hm… (picks up the Faust doll) This is your problem. This doll is switched to 'evil' mode. It ought to be on the 'good' setting.

Zappa: Thank you very much, Dr. Faust! My tongue is sore!

(Faust presses the switch, which turns the doll good)

Faust Doll: I love you, Zappa.

Zappa: C'mere you! (hugs the doll) Aw…

Jimmy: (looks up) Oh no! Zappa! Raoh turned the house into a puppet!

Zappa and Faust: WHAT!?

(As was said, Raoh has made some alterations to the house [and the ghost dog is knocked out because of Raoh] so that whenever he speaks, the roof of the house flaps up and down)

Raoh (mighty, demanding voice): UNRULY MORTALS! I AM RAOH! IF YOU TORMENT THIS LITTLE BOY ANY LONGER, I WILL **BELLOWS MALICE** YOUR ASSES! ALL OF YOU!! NOW, FEED ME A TOOL SHED!!!

Zappa: Oh Raoh… You mess everything up.

(everyone starts laughing; Faust wouldn't be Faust if he didn't do his thing, so he sticks a scalpel up Zappa's ass for what seems like no apparent reason)

Zappa (having all the right to scream in bloody pain): YYAAAAAAAAHH!!! (falls unconscious)

Faust: I was just making sure he wasn't crazy anymore!

(everyone resumes laughing, even Raoh is laughing, who is making the house laugh as well)

--

As usual, maybe not today, but maybe not tomorrow, but someday, there will be a new chapter!

And good luck with your plans, Kaiser Ryouga II!


	4. Johnny's Johnny Cubed

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons, or their Halloween episodes.

I **waive** the right for you to sue me. 

--

(Here's episode four: Johnny is wandering around the Mayship, when all of a sudden, he hears May's voice talking to someone else)

May (from afar): Oh! I remember you! You're Dizzy's friend?

Dizzy: Yes. 

Bridget: Nice to meet you! Well, on friendly terms anyways!

(Johnny hears this)

Johnny: OH NO! NOT HIM AGAIN! I GOTTA HIDE!

(Johnny starts running very far, which unfortunately, catches the eyes of the other three, as he ducks into his room)

Johnny (shocked): Okay… GET OUT OF MY ROOM, TESTAMENT!

Testament (on Johnny's bed, with a broken leg): What!? So now this is rejection I'm feeling!? If I didn't know any better, you said that I could stay in your room until I could start walking again!

Johnny: Yes, I did say that. Well then, (hears footsteps) GOTTA GO!! (bashes the door down, and starts to run)

May: Johnny! WAIT!! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING!?

(Dizzy and May lift up the door)

Bridget (sort of crushed): Maybe he doesn't like me…

(Johnny keeps running and turns a corner into what seems like a dead end)

Johnny: Odd… I don't remember _this_ being part of the ship. (feels his hands around) Maybe there is a secret pass—(feels his hand going through the wall; pulls it out quick) What the? (puts his hand in once more) Odd… Do I take my chances in what might be--

May: JOHNNY!!

Johnny: SOLD! (jumps into the wall)

Dizzy: Where did he go?

Bridget: This is a dead end!

Testament (using his scythe as a crutch): He couldn't have gone far!

(Meanwhile, Johnny is running into what seems like blackness, until he crosses a boundary line that turns his whole DNA and body into 3D graphics, like in those choppy Street Fighter EX games; Johnny is now amazed at the 3D electronic world around himself; let's say that whenever Johnny is in this world, his name will be in [], and the others will be capable of hearing his voice like in that Simpsons episode)

[Johnny] (to himself): Holy advances of mankind. All that is created by **the** one man who controls the whole cosmos and the whatnot.

Testament: Where could he have gone?

[Johnny]: HELP ME FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS!!! (gong sound) OW! OH GREAT! NOW I CAN'T GET OUT! I'M TRAPPED!!

Dizzy (confused): Johnny? Where are you?

[Johnny]: Well, um, this Johnny reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally doesn't know where he is. You know that dead end that doesn't seem right in the ship?

May: Yep.

  
Bridget: Yep.

Dizzy: Yep.

Testament: Yep.

Testament's bird, Hitomi: *squawk*

[Johnny]: Well, there's a strange break in the space-time continuum around there.

Axl: Hey guys! What's happening?

May: How the!? (angry) HOW DID YOU GET ABOARD!?

[Johnny]: Axl? AXL, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP ME!

Axl (spooked): Where di-did that voice come from? Johnny's a spirit!!!

Testament: No, Johnny's lost in another dimension.

(In the virtual dimension)

Axl: You mean, like he disappeared in, you know, egotistical air? (starts laughing his annoying laugh)

[Johnny] (starts walking around): Hey! Shut up! (looks at something) Oh, so **that's** what the chemical formula for benzene looks like.

Bridget: I guess you could say that!

[Johnny]: You're on my list, transvestite boy! 

Testament (to Bridget): I don't believe we've been properly introduced. My name is Testament. I am Dizzy's guardian.

[Johnny]: HEY! Are you guys just going on and engaging tea conversations, or are you guys helping me?

Axl: What do you need, Johnny?

[Johnny]: Well, this strange dimension I'm in… do you remember that 200-year old movie Tron?

Axl: Yeah, I remember! I watched that three times in my old time!

[Johnny]: Well, that's basically what I'm in. So how about thinking of a way of getting this Johnny out? (looks at a digital pool of water that has fish in it) Oh yes. If I can get out of here, we'll have some fish! (fish move away) Damn…

Testament: Johnny, if you can hear me, I will send Hitomi to scout out your location! Go! (Testament's crow enters the dimension) She will locate Johnny, and bring him back.

[Johnny]: What was that about a 'Hitomi'? Oh, and that's the formula for the sine of a critical angle… (sees a crow coming right at him) AAH!! DEMON! (unsheathes his katana) MIST FINER!!

(all you could hear from the real world was a bird's interrupted squawk before dying out in blood and cutting sounds; everyone else is appalled) 

Testament (holding back rage): Johnny… what happened to Hitomi?

[Johnny]: Oh! _That_ was Hitomi!? Um, well… I wonder what she'll taste like?

Testament (**now** murderous rage): I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! (opens a portal) NIGHTMARE CIRCULAR!! (the uncanny blast enters the dimension; nothing happens)

[Johnny] (laughing): You suck! That blast didn't even enter the dimension!

Testament (saddened): Don't talk to me.

[Johnny] (looking at a sign post): Geez, this place looks expensive. I feel like I'm wasting money just standing here… well, better make the best of this. (does nothing for a few seconds, then starts picking at his ear with his pinky finger and starts singing to himself) Sing a song of sixpence, a pocketful of rye; four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie; (stops singing) That's actually quite disgusting. (hears the air getting parted as a yo-yo hits him in the back of the head) OW! What the? That's it! Now I am really going to kill you when I get back, yo-yo boy!

Bridget: Look Johnny, you're not being rational here! Just grab onto the yo-yo, and I'll retrieve you back through the dimension!

Axl: It's a good deal, Johnny.

Venom (out of nowhere): That is true. And now if you excuse me, I'll go away. (leaves)

[Johnny]: Damn you, British people! Alright! (grabs the yo-yo) Got it.

(Nothing happens)

[Johnny] (getting impatient): This Johnny is getting impatient… PULL, YOU BASTARD!!

Bridget: Come on! (keeps pulling on the yo-yo string) Nothing's happening.

Dizzy: You sure?

May: You wussy!!

(Everyone grabs onto Bridget's arm, and give one mighty tug; you can practically hear Johnny scream as he is being hurtled towards his possible freedom)

[Johnny]: SWEET GOD!! I'M COMING BAC—(gong sound) OW! What the!?

(everyone on the other side falls down since the weight [Johnny] has been lost and they are flung back a bit; the yo-yo hits Testament's face)

Testament: OW! (holding forehead) Why today, of all days!?

[Johnny]: Why aren't I out!? (grabs some random sharp object) I HATE THIS STUPID PLACE!! (throws the object to the center of the dimension; gets sucked in) Oops…

May: What do you mean, 'Oops'!? Johnny, what's happening?

[Johnny]: Hold on. Just a second. (stares at the hole he made) Hm… I really wish I had continued school… That way, I could understand this form of astro physics… 

(his face almost gets sucked into the black hole, and now he starts to run for his god-fearing life as the black hole starts to increase in intensity and size, as he is cursing up a storm)

May: JOHNNY!!

Testament: It seems that destiny wants him to die. (jackass) Good, that's what he gets for killing Hitomi!

Axl: Kind of mean, Testy.

(May, Bridget and Dizzy are sort of giggling about the funny name)

Testament (stares at Axl blankly): What… did you just call me?

[Johnny]: HELP ME! I'm going to die, and you guys are just calling Testament pointless names! Actually, Testy is kind of funny.

Testament: No it isn't!!

May (tying a rope around her body): Well screw you guys! I'm actually going to give a damn about this, and save Johnny! (runs into the portal)

Dizzy: MAY, DON'T!

(May passes the boundary line, and becomes 3D)

[May] (admiring herself): Hey… I don't look too bad…

(She then sees that the only remnants of the dimension is outer edges, and Johnny on the opposite end)

[Johnny] (panicky; speaking fast): OhmygodI'mgonnagetsuckedintoablackhole, I'mgonnagetsuckedintoablackhole, andwhereI'llendupontheotherside, thisJohnnyDOESN'TKNOW!!

[May]: JOHNNY! (believing in Johnny) You're going to have to jump!

[Johnny]: YOU'RE ****ING KIDDING, RIGHT!? I can walk around!

(Johnny starts to carefully walk on the edges of the black hole, until he trips, and slips into the black hole itself… Poor Johnny…)

[Johnny]: CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!! (as he says this, his body is now divided into small segments, and disintegrates)

(The dimension now collapses on itself, leaving May to fall to her untimely demise… wait… wait for it… yep, untimely demise… no wait… Everyone else on the other side pulls their hardest to bring May back; but if Johnny couldn't get back the same way he got in, then so can't May)

[May] (rope snaps off): NOOOOOOOOO! (disintegrates)

Dizzy: MAY! JOHNNY!

Axl: Poor Johnny…

Testament (thinking on the bright side): Maybe he'll do just fine…

(At that point, Johnny's loud "Crap" screams echoes all over the ship, as soon following May's scream)

Testament: They've probably gone to a better place…

Bridget: Hated to see them go.

Axl: But sadness aside, who gets the ship? (Nothing happens for a few seconds; Axl runs off) MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!

Bridget and Dizzy: HEY! (chasing after Axl) COME BACK HERE!!

Testament: THAT SHIP SHOULD BE MINE! (starts hovering after the others)

(Meanwhile; in another city, in another universe, we see a strange figure falling from the sky towards an empty alleyway, landing straight on its face)

Figure (voice sounding like a pair of familiar male and female voices joined together): Ow… my head… I'm glad we're out of that dimension… (realizes) Wait a second… **we're**!? OH NO! OUR BODIES MERGED TOGETHER!!!

(Suddenly!)

Person: Oh no! The city's under attack!

Figure: Oh well, might as well make the best of our situation!

(And the merged Johnny/May figure runs off to save the day! Let's hope that a cheesy cartoon doesn't get created from this, because if brought to America, they **will** ruin it!)

--

Review please! Thank you!


	5. Eddie's The Venom

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons, or their Halloween episodes.

I **waive** the right for you to sue me. 

--

(Here's episode five: a total spoof of, 'The Raven' by Edgar Allen Poe.)

(We see the demon Eddie in a robe reading something called forgotten lore)

The Venom 

[Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,   
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore of Zato-1--   
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,   
As of some one heavily kicking, kicking at my chamber door.] 

Eddie (muttering): 'Tis some visitor," [I muttered,] "tapping at my chamber door--   
Only this and nothing more." 

[Ah, distinctly I recall it was in a bleak Fall,   
And each blotch of her blood wrought its ghost upon the floor.   
Eagerly I wished the morrow; -- vainly I had no point to borrow   
From my books surcease **no** sorrow-- sorrow for the dead Millia--   
For the murderous and devilish maiden whom the angels name Millia--   
This line cannot end in itself.]

Eddie (smiling): Humans are certainly lazy. 

[And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain   
Thrilled me-- filled me with fantastic terrors wished to have felt before, like how I could have killed Millia in more ways than one;   
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating:] 

Eddie (slightly panicking): 'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door--   
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; This it is and nothing more." 

[Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,] 

Eddie: "Sir," [said I,] "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And each moment made me want to take your bodies even more, as you tap at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you"—[here I opened wide the door; -- Darkness there and nothing more.] 

Eddie: Stupid Mini-Eddies… I bet they're trying to scare the **** out of me…

[Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,   
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;   
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,   
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Millia!"   
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Millia!"--   
Merely this and nothing more.]

Eddie: God, I hate that bitch! 

[Back into the chamber turning, all my soul, if I had one, burning,   
Soon again I heard a bashing something louder than before.] 

Eddie (slightly panicky): "Surely," [said I,] "surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore--   
Let my heart, had I one, be still a moment, and this mystery explore;--   
'Tis the wind and nothing more." 

[Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,   
In there stepped a fashionable Venom of the saintly days of yore.   
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he,   
But, with form to avenge Zato towards me, stood beside my chamber door--   
Stood beside a bust of Zato just beside my chamber door--   
Stood and glared, and nothing more.] 

[Then this darkest man beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,   
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,] 

Eddie: "Though thy crest on your hair is painted, I," [I said,] "am sure not tainted,   
ghastly grim and ancient Venom wandering from the Guildean shore--   
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Assassin's Guildean shore!" 

Venom: [Quoth the Venom,] "I'm going to kill you." 

[Much I marvelled this ungainly assassin to hear discourse so plainly,   
Though its answer little meaning--little relevancy bore;   
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being   
Ever yet blessed with seeing Venom beside their chamber door,   
Man, Gear, or Forbidden Beast upon the sculptured bust beside his chamber door,   
With such a name as "I'm going to kill you."] 

[But the Venom, standing lonely beside that placid bust, spoke only   
That one phrase, as if his soul in that one phrase he did outpour.   
Nothing farther then that he uttered; not a strand of hair had he stuttered--   
Till I scarcely more than muttered:] 

Eddie: "Other friends have flown before-- On the morrow _he _will leave me as my Hopes have flown before."

Venom: [Then the Venom said], "I'm going to kill you." 

[Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,] 

Eddie: "Doubtless," [said I,] "what it utters is its only stock and store,   
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster   
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore--   
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore   
Of 'Never--I'm going to kill you'" 

[But the Venom still beguiling all my sad soul (had I had one) into smiling,   
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of white-haired man and Zato bust and door;   
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking   
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous white-haired dark-skinned man of yore--   
What this grim, fashionable, skinny, and ominous white-haired dark-skinned man of yore   
Meant in croaking "I'm going to kill you."] 

[This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing   
To the pitiful dog whose water-colored eyes now burned into my bosom's core;   
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining   
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,   
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er   
_She _shall press, ah, with an "I'm going to kill you! Once and for all!"] 

[Then, methougt, the air grew denser, perfumed from some unseen censer] 

Eddie (smells this unseen censer, and then gets bashed hard in the head by said unseen censer): OW! Stupid censer!

[Swung by Slayer-phim who was less of a seraph and more of a vampire who has the potentialities of becoming the next final boss in the next Guilty Gear sequel.] 

Eddie: "Wretch," [I cried,] "thy God hath lent thee--by these demons and succubus he hath sent thee Don't bother—I hold no sadness from killing Zato or Millia!   
Quaff, oh quaff this I hold no sadness from killing Zato-1 or Millia Rage!" 

Venom: [Quoth the Venom,] "I'm going to kill you." 

Eddie (pointing): "Prophet!" [said I,] "thing of evil!--prophet still, if man, angel, or devil!-- Whether Zato sent, or whether his will tossed thee here ashore,   
Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--   
On this home by Horror haunted,-- tell me truly, I implore--   
Is there-- _is _there peace in The Guild?--tell me--tell me, I implore!" 

Venom: [Quoth the Venom,] "I'm going to kill you." 

Eddie (screaming louder):"Prophet!" [said I,] "thing of evil!--prophet still, if man, angel, or devil! By that heaven that bends above us--by that God we both adore--   
Tell this soul with no sorrow laden if, within the distant Nirvana,   
It shall clasp a impure maiden whom the devils name Millia--   
Clasp a rare and demonic maiden whom the devils name Millia." 

Venom: [Quoth the Venom] "For Zato-sama's peace," 

Eddie: "Be that word our sign of parting, man or fiend!" [I shrieked, upstarting--]   
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Assassin's Guildean shore!   
Leave no white strand as token of that nonsense thy soul hath spoken!   
Leave my happy loneliness unbroken! –Get your ass off my wall and door!   
Take thy cue from out my heart, and take thy form from out my life!" 

Venom (angry): [Quoth the Venom,] "I will kill you!!" 

Eddie (taunting Venom): Then bring it, you Zato-whipped little bitch!

Announcer: HEAVEN OR HELL! FINAL DUEL! LET'S ROCK!!

(Venom and Eddie now charge at each other, their thirsty ambitions to kill each other truly great)

Venom: DOUBLE HAND MORBID!!

(Hits Eddie about four times; Eddie then releases a Mini-Eddie)

Eddie: INVITE HELL!!

(Darkness drills appear on the ground, destroying all the furniture in the area, and then little Mini-Eddie turns itself into a giant dark drill, hitting Venom for about 3 hits)

Venom: RED HAIL!!

(Venom jumps into the air and fires plenty of cue balls, bashing Eddie's groin in 8 precise hits)

Eddie (high voice because of 8 groin shots): MEGALITH HEAD!!

(A giant Eddie head pops out of the ground to attack Venom, but luckily he dodges it)

Venom: We end this now! DARK ANGEL!!

(A giant purple ball charges at Eddie at high speeds, draining the last of Eddie's health)

Eddie (shrieking): ORE WA SUROO SUTAATAA NANDA YO!!!

[And the Venom, never moving, still is standing, still is standing   
On the pallid bust of Zato just beside my chamber door;   
And the eyes have all the seeming of an avenger's that is dreaming,   
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;   
And my soul, had I one, from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor   
Where I will live--nevermore!] 

[End]

--

Director: CUT!! That was beautiful!

Venom: Well, I do work very well. I did read the Raven before, so I got into it. Except for the Zato-whipped little bitch remark…

Director: What other way to end the season finale of Guilty Gear Halloween Specials! Especially when you dramatic faked killing Eddie!

Venom (angry and confused): Faking!?

Director (looks at the bloody Eddie's body): MEDIC!!

--

Maybe when the summer is over, I will continue with season two of Guilty Gear Halloween Specials!

Keep writing, all you Guilty Gear authors, and Triple Peeps, and Kaiser Ryouga II!


	6. Testament's Mayning

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

I waive the right for you to sue me.

Oh, and just so you know, I am so pro-Bridget/Dizzy, so you shouldn't be surprised to see this pairing appear in my chapters.

--

(Here's the first episode of season two/episode six: here we see the Jellyfish Pirates [comprising of Johnny, May, April, and Dizzy], with their good allies Testament and Bridget, taking a gondola to what looks like a luxurious palace in a mountainous region...)

Johnny (all giddy): WOW! I can't believe that this place is going to be the Jellyfish Pirates' first on-land base! I'm just giddy with joy!

Testament: Even though I'm not a pirate myself, (aside) thank God I'm not, (back to the others) I really think that a base would let yourselves be found easily by the officials, wouldn't you think? 

Johnny: No.

(Testament stares over to a corner of the gondola, where he sees Dizzy caught in a kiss with her boyfriend, Bridget; Testament is not yet comfortable with the fact that Dizzy is seeing someone who wanted her head in a dead bounty, never mind her kissing said bounty hunter, who looked like a said nun)

Testament (breaking his tension): I need some air. (opens the gondola door; walks right down onto the ground from a good 200 feet) AAAHHH!!! I'LL MEET UP WITH YOU LATER! (plop)

Johnny: Did Testament fall overboard?

Bridget: Afraid he did.

May: Aren't we going to pick him up?

Johnny (voice sounding like he doesn't want to save Testament): Can't stop a gondola...

Dizzy: But... (saddened) What about Testament?

April (pleading tone): C'mon, Johnny!

Johnny: ... Alright, I'll get him. (walks out the gondola as well) I'LL MEET YOU GUYS ON THE TOP! (plop)

(Some time passes, and Johnny and Testament finally reach the palace via walking and hiking onto the mountain, sadly eating Testament's bird, as they were famished. [Why do I keep making Testament's bird die? *shrugs shoulders*])

Johnny (tired): Hey guys...

May (sarcastic): What took you?

Testament: None of your business, filthy human! (coughs up a beak; everyone stares) Enough...

(Three people walk out of the palace and walk towards Johnny)

Slayer: Hello! It's certainly nice to see you.

Johnny: Who the hell are you?

Slayer: I'm Slayer, and these are my associates/potential backstabbers, Millia Rage and Venom. You seem to be moving into this palace.

Venom: Charmed to meet you.

Millia (eying the girls; mostly eyes Bridget): I'm feeling a little like a lesbian right now... (to Johnny) Tell you what: You can take this place with no strings, **if** I can get one night with that nun-chick over there!

(Bridget is surprised; Dizzy is slightly mad)

Venom: You don't care that she's a woman of the Lord?

Millia: No, not in particular...

Johnny: Um, that's a guy.

Venom: What!? (starts eying) That's not a man! A man wouldn't have such sexy legs!

Millia: I actually agree with contrast-man here. (Because he is black, but has white hair; I don't mean to offend) That's not a man.

Testament: Yes he is!

Slayer: No that person isn't!

Bridget (getting rather angry): I'M A **GUY**, DAMMIT!!

Venom: Well, if the person him/her self claims that they are male, then we are honest to believe that. (starts eying him) And in that case...

Bridget (glares): Don't even think about it.

Venom (gives up): Well, I tried.

Slayer (breaks the tension): Come! I must show you the palace!

(Some time passes, and, inside, they see an elevator)

Johnny: Ultimate sweet.

(The elevator doors open, pouring out a large stream of blood in the process; this scares May, unnerves Dizzy, and slightly frightens Testament)

Testament: Huh?

Slayer: That's odd...

Venom: Yes... the blood almost always gets off the second floor...

Millia: Or third, when it rains.

Johnny (hand to chin): Well, *tsk*  it's tough, but me and my crew can live with that...

May (looks out the window): WOW! A HEDGE MAZE! I THOUGHT THEY WERE LEGENDS! (runs outside)

(Whilst the others continue exploring the house, we see an eager groundskeeper named Potemkin, raking some leaves amidst the aging trees and breezy snow, and, something rips right through his prized maze in a single and powerful line)

Potemkin: What the!?

May (just finished ripping through the hedges): Found a short cut!

Potemkin (about to get flaming mad): WHY YOU-- (calms down; he is now thinking) No, wait. Just wait until you meet her parents, then give them a stern and lecturable POTEMKIN BUSTER!

May: I don't have parents.

Potemkin (taken back a smidge): WHAT THE!? You, you read my mind!? Fascinating. You, my young friend, have the legendary powers of the "May-ning".

May (cynical): Don't you mean "Shining"?

Potemkin (worried; covers May's mouth): Shh. You wanna get sued? Anyway, I have the slight feeling that someone in your party is going to become mad with insanity, and--(May looks at Potemkin in a cynical tone) Yes, I did mean to say it like that. If someone goes insane, use your gift to summon me, and I will protect you, okay?

May: Got it! (thinks to herself as she walks off) Boy, what a nut bag.

(May runs past the leaving three assassins)

Venom: Was it necessary to give this palace to common pirates? I mean, you remember what it did to Zato-sama; it drove him into the shadows to be corrupted by Eddie.

Slayer: True; but I have the feeling that **that** will not happen again.

Millia: I don't know... I have the feeling that something, will drive that winged broad and her girlfriend to their extremes! (Venom and Slayer look at Millia) What!? Oh, right, I forgot! I just can't see that guy as a guy, when he looks so much like a girl!

Venom: And the voice as well.

Slayer: Enough. Let's say this: If we come back, and they're all dead **except** for the winged broad and her transvestite boyfriend, I owe you a Coke. Now, (takes off his shoulder cape-thingy) we ride! To the National Assassin's Convention! (Slayer walks in through the cape-thingy)

Venom: I love visiting the N.A.C. I wonder how many I can get for a new Assassin's Guild? (walks in)

Millia: Yeah. I wonder how many male Assassins you'd have sex with? (walks in)

Venom: 10. I mean... s***.

(Let's make a comfortable transition into the next scene, shall we? What appears to be a kitchen...)

Dizzy: Oh no! There's no food here! I can't cook!

Johnny (really likes Dizzy's cooking): WHAT!? NOOOOOOO!! 

Bridget: We can go for a few days without food until we get some more, right?

Testament: And **I** don't need to eat!

Johnny (calm again): Well, I guess we can't always get what we want. C'mon, (grabs May and April) you're helping me find treasure!

May (close to swooning): YAY!!

April (dreamy): Yes, Johnny!

(Some time passes)

Testament (in the middle of a speech): ...And if you ever do something that will upset/and or make Dizzy cry, I will come to your room at night, and slit your throat! You got that?

Bridget (slightly shaky voice): Yes sir.

Dizzy: Testament, please stop it. You know that he will never do any bad to me.

Bridget: That's true. (sarcastic) If I do something bad, you could even disembowel me if you want!

Testament (not seeing the sarcasm): Can I get that in writing?

Johnny (storms in through the door): There's not even a hint of treasure in this old place! (calms down) But, this is not how this Johnny acts. He's a cool and smooth operator.

May: Wow! I admire you even more so for keeping your cool like this!

Johnny (suddenly brandishing his katana; angry tone): I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL! (unexpectedly strikes a few objects around the room... and April)

April: AAAHHH!!

May: JOHNNY! STOP IT!

Testament: There's only one way to stop a crazy Johnny (summons a giant vortex): NIGHTMARE CIRCULAR! 

(The blast hits Johnny, and he's now out of his delirium)

Johnny (looks around to see that he destroyed a few things, and cut down April): Ow... Oh my God. (he runs away, ashamed by what he did)

(Johnny is now in a room that he called "Johnny's Room", brooding over the slight carnage that he created)

Johnny: What's happening to me!? I've never lost my cool, and I never take it out on my girls! I'm I truly going insane!?

(Suddenly, a ghostly image of Jam Kuradoberi appears in front of him [First time I'm using Jam in this fic])

Jam: Hi Johnny!

Johnny (sees the ghostly Jam): Yes I am! 

Jam: JOHNNY! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!

Johnny: Huh?

Jam: Would you like something to eat? (materializes real food in front of him)

Johnny: Oh God! If it will keep me sane, then fatten me up!

Jam: No! Not until you kill your friends and crew members!

Johnny (taken back): What!? Why?

Jam: Because they'd be much happier as ghosts!

Johnny (looks at Jam): Well, despite your cheery look, you don't seem happy!

Jam (giddy): But I am! I get to possess my sweetie, Ky, at night, and do--(interrupts herself) Well, I think I said too much. (grabs Johnny's collar; demon voice) NOW DESTROY THOSE YOU LOVE, AND I'LL GIVE YOU SOME FOOD! (vanishes)

(Some time passes; An empty, slightly darkened room; Testament is looking around for Johnny, until he sees a typewriter on a desk)

Testament: Odd... I thought those were boycotted when some Axl fellow got himself killed by this. (sees a paper on the typewriter) "Starving, and want loot; but all is fine" That's good. 

(Lights come on, and Testament is surrounded by hordes of destroyed objects, and pretty mean graffiti, written in blood; Johnny appears behind him)

Testament (knew that something was going to approach him): Johnny! What is the meaning of this!?

Johnny (sounding eerie): Like it? It's the theme for a novel I'm about to write. All I need, is a opening sentence. Somewhere around the lines of "No good food and no treasure make Johnny something something"...

Testament: Become insane?

Johnny: Nope...

Testament: Go crazy?

Johnny: DON'T MIND IF I DO!! (starts laughing maniacally as he uses a Bacchus Sigh to cover Testament in mist)

Testament (sees the mist, but is not yet aware of the danger it will cause him): What the f--(Johnny unsheathes sword) WAAAAAAAH!! (starts hovering away, barely missing a Mist Finer; summons scythe)

Johnny (speaking faster and faster): C'mon Testy, drop the scythe! Drop the scythe! Drop it! Drop scythe! Scythescythescythescythescythe!! Ha ha! Scared you.

Testament: You wish. (makes a demonic look with his face)

Johnny (scared): WAH!! (steps back and trips over a table; falls unconscious)

(Testament drags Johnny into a unseen food storage)

Testament (Death tone): I'm not leaving my precious Dizzy in the hands of a psycho like yourself. It's time to end your life!

May (screaming from a distance): TESTAMENT! JOHNNY! SOMEBODY KILLED APRIL! AND HER BLOOD IS SPLATTERED ALL OVER THE WALLS!

Testament (Death tone): I'll be back for you! (leaves; looks around) And I'll tell Dizzy about this food storage.

(Time passes; Johnny rubs his head, because of the fall, and is eating from some of the food reserves)

Jam voice: Um, Johnny. Me and the other ghouls don't think that the plan is being carried out very well.

Johnny: Can't kill. Eating. Staying sane. Repenting.

Jam voice: Okay, that's it!

(The door bursts open as a ghost Jam, vampire Sol, zombie Axl, Freddy Krueger Faust, Eddie, and Chipp wearing a fur coat grabs Johnny, and he screams bloody oblivion;

Time passes, and Johnny now slices down a door in one slice)

Johnny (voice from the Shining): Here's... JOHNNY! (empty room) Damn it!!

(More time passes; Johnny performs his Johnny Special on another door, watching the door crumble)

Johnny: Daisuke Ishiwatari!! (only sees Kliff Undersn in the room)

Kliff: Hello, Daisuke! I'm Kliff Undersn. I got a bone to pick with you!

Johnny: Son of a!

(Even more time passes; Johnny Bacchus Sighs the door, and then uses a Level 3 Mist Finer to disintegrate the door in front of him)

Johnny (losing it): I AM 14 CHARACTERS! WITH 6 NEW ADDED, AND 3 MORE HIDDEN AND UNLOCKABLE! WITH A ROCKING SOUNDTRACK, NO LOAD TIMES, AND A CLARIFYING STORY MODE, I AM GUILTY GEAR X2 FOR THE PS2!! (empty room; sounds defeated) I just have bad luck today, don't I?

(Johnny keeps walking until he notices some barely seen thread)

Johnny: Thread? (he follows the thread with his eyes, until he sees it connect to a) Yo-yo?

(All of a sudden, the yo-yo grows large in size, and latches onto him like a beacon)

Bridget's voice: GO, ROGER!

(Another yo-yo transforms into Bridget's teddy bear, Roger. It starts to swarm all over Johnny)

Johnny (mad): Teddy bear, eh? JOHNNY SPECIAL! (decimates poor teddy bear with his Johnny Special overdrive; realizes) Damn... Did I just waste a Johnny Special on an inanimate object?

(Johnny starts walking down the hall where he heard his voice the strongest; he gets hit by Testament's poison tree; he keeps getting wailed upon by poison trees; on the other side)

Bridget: Roger couldn't hold him off.

Testament: And my trees aren't doing a good job, either!

May: Wait! Maybe I can use my "May-ning" to summon Potemkin! He'll help us.

Dizzy: Go with it!

(May thinks as hard as she can to alert Potemkin of the danger their in; on Potemkin's side, he's just watching a handheld TV in a little shack)

TV Announcer: ...And the three assassins in question we're killed.

Potemkin (gets the mental message): That little girl is in trouble! Do not worry; I will save you!

(Potemkin runs outside, trips over something, but ignores it and keeps going; he eventually reaches the insides of the house)

Potemkin: Okay...  prepare for 656 kg of muscular whoop-ass, freak-tard. Now, where do you hide... (gets a Gold Johnny Mist Finer in the back) MIGOTO!! [Well done!!] (falls down; dead)

Announcer: SLASH!

May (observes Potemkin's lifeless pile): Geez... I'm **not** cleaning that up.

Johnny: Must... kill... friends...

(Outside; a window bursts; Bridget, May, Dizzy, and Testament jump out, only to have Johnny follow after them; May trips on something)

Dizzy: MAY!

Testament: Leave her! She'll sacrifice herself to save us!

May: NO WAY, YOU HACK! (notices something shiny) Johnny, look!

(May holds up a gold brick to show Johnny; this snaps Johnny out of insanity)

Johnny: TREASURE! Teacher, mother, one true lover! (sounding quiet) Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading... (everyone nears closer) RISING!! (everyone backs off) fading... fading... gone.

(Everyone sighs in relief)

Johnny: What the? (The cool and sexy Johnny finds a hatch which opens to a large storage of hundreds of thousands of gold bricks) WOOHOO!! It's a pay cut, but we HIT THE MINIMUM JACKPOT!!

Dizzy: I am relieved.

Bridget: Same here.

Testament (not phasing to the cold winds that are picking up): Agreed.

Johnny: Radio in the girls. We gonna get our asses out of here, and we hauling good-ass stuff!

May: Uh-oh.

Johnny: What is it, little May?

May: These aren't actual gold. They're just gold-colored bricks, with a note saying that "Hahahaha, you are simple fools that are easily tricked. Signed, Slayer".

(Johnny's eye starts twitching)

Bridget (foreboding sense of danger): And we proceed to run! 

(he grabs Dizzy's arm, and with May and Testament in tow, they all start running)

Johnny: Urge to kill... RISING!!

--

Note: I said, Maybe... But, anyway...

Another chapter might be on the way!


	7. Sol's Die You Damn Frog

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

I waive the right for you to sue me.

--

(Here's episode seven: What the!? An espionage look!?)

Sol (speaking into an AV link): Badguy Sol here. I'm in position. Don't know why I'm here. Over.

Axl (speaking into an AV link): Low Axl here. I, too, am in position. Over.

Anji (ditto): Mito Anji-san here. In position. Over.

Chipp (ditto): Holy Zen! (is shushed by the others) Zanuff Chipp-san here! I am so Japanese! Over.

Johnny (you get the rest): Johnny here. It's not my fault if I wasn't given a last name. Over.

(It turns out that all five of them are actually huddled together in some type of hiding box area. They're looming over a horde of, get comfy for this one, Robo-Mays, Robo-Baikens, Robo-Bridgets, and even a couple of Robo-Potemkins and Robo-Anjis lead by **the** original Robo-Ky)

Axl: I'm squished, Chief.

Sol: If you put your elbow close to me again, I will feed you to the robotic masses!

Johnny: Shut up!

(A couple of minutes pass by)

Sol (eying Axl): Axl, is that your hand close to my 'zone'?

Axl (nervous and speaking like he's wanting **not** to die): Um, I'm really hoping that it isn't... But I know that in your heart that--  

(Axl is hurled out of the safe domain he was residing in and crashes down to the ground, catching the attention of all the Robos in the area)

Axl: Um... Maybe they're not so sentient... Their scanners might not be so reliable--  
  


Robo-May #1: Target sighted!

Robo-Bridget #4: Preparation complete!

Robo-Ky: ATTACK!!

Axl (starting to run): S***!!!!!

(Not using any of the weapons the robotic versions mimic the flesh counterparts, they fire missiles, lasers, and the mechanical whatnot at the fleeing Axl, whilst the others sneak off to the back to find a room filled with extreme amounts of treasure.)

Johnny (contemplating): Maybe it's best to work with four experienced men, instead of a ship filled to the brim with countless skimpy little girls...

Anji: Maybe... sicko.

Chipp: Holy Zen! Child molester!

Anji (angry): Chipp! Shut up! (slaps Chipp on the forehead with one of his Stopping Fans) Never say that unless it is in an unexpected situation! GOT IT!?

Chipp (quiet): ... Yes sir...

Sol (large vat of treasures in his arms): Hey... (looks around) Where is that tea-drinking Brit Axl? Dumbass...

Axl (enters the room): I think I lost them, Chief. 

Robo-Potemkin #2: Target sighted!

Robo-Baiken #12: There's no escape!

Robo-Anji #3: SUFFER!!

Axl (angry): No more running for me! (summons Instant Kill bar) WILD HAIR!!

(Sol, Anji, Johnny, and Chipp run the f*** from the area that Axl will cover with his attack; Axl's chains snag all the robots, and rip into them so badly that robotic heads, limbs, and mechanical innards fly out in ultimate style and flair)

Sol (whistling in awe as he carries treasure away): I thought I had that damned fool figured out. Pretty sweet, Axl.

Robo-Ky: THERE IS NO ESCAPE! (gets tackled by a silhouetted figure) AUGH! 

Chipp: HO--(stops himself) I mean... Wow, who stopped him?

Anji: There we go. Much more controlled.

Axl (looks around): Where's Chief and Johnny?

(The other three follow after Sol and Johnny to a vehicle parked a few hundred feet away from the area. Sol looks at the vehicle strangely)

Sol (vein in forehead): Axl, you numbf***, did you just convert my Fireseal into a heavy and potentially dangerous hood ornament?

Axl: Like it? You can mow down Ky Kiske with it! (annoying laugh)

Sol: ... Thanks, Axl. You're a true friend.

Axl (eyes bright): REALLY?

Sol: Meh. Something like that.

(they all get into the car, with treasure in hand, and Axl taking the wheel. They drive off down a valley road, until they are submerged in mist and fog.)

Sol (irritated): What the f***?

Johnny: Hey Anji! Blow away the mist with your wind-type fans!

Anji: What!? I can't control the winds! Though that is, in return, a question I should ask myself...

Axl (cautious): I think I better pull over, and play it safe.

(Axl drives to the right side, and hears a demonic screech as he bumps over something; Anji and Johnny are worried; Axl feels some extreme shock; Even Sol looks up to see what happened)

Chipp: ... (everyone stares at Chipp) What? How come everyone is looking at me?

Anji: Um, Chipp, **now** would have been a good time to say your "Holy Zen" catchphrase.

Chipp: Oh. ... Is it too late to say it now?

Anji: Well, everyone else is still in great shock. So yes.

Chipp: Okay. HOLY ZEN! WE HIT SOMETHING HARD!

Axl (saddened and scared): Please let it be a simple stray dog...

Johnny: Dog!? Is it **from HELL!?**

Sol: Hm... If that 'thing' we ran over is still alive, then... (giddy) I'll have my first encounter with a demon! Yay. Just tell me what it is. I'm staying here.

(They go out of the car, except Sol, and the fog clears just enough to show who/what they ran over, including the hood ornament Fireseal's tip dipped in blood.)

Axl (screaming): OH MY GOD! WE RAN DOWN KY KISKE!! YAAAAHHH!!

Johnny: We?!

Sol (interested): We ran down who in the what now?

(The fog lifts fully to see Ky, with a bloody hole in his stomach [thanks to the Fireseal], and clothes torn and ripped)

Sol: Holy s***. (ignores the dead Ky, and grabs his Fireseal) You served a greater good, my sword. A greater good. (goes back on topic) About the body... (pokes the dead Ky a few times) Wow, he's dead. Let's just dump the body in a harbor. (ass) He has no loved ones, so he'll be easily forgotten.

Axl: But what about his new girlfriend, Jam Kuradoberi?

Sol: ... (starts snickering) Girlfriend!? Now that's a laugh! If only Ky was alive to see my happy expression! (starts to happily laugh) No really! It's funny! It's a joke.

Johnny (seems somewhat offended): Don't joke with women.

Anji: But what do we do with her?

Chipp: We **kill** her! (everyone stares blankly at Chipp)

Anji (sounding disciplinary): No. (bops Chipp on the forehead)

Chipp: BAKEMON GA!

(In the morning; right outside of Jam's restaurant, we see Jam tidying around her premises, where she sees Sol a distance away with Ky. Ky?)

Jam: Aya! Ky, my precious little hunk, is that you?

Ky (his voice is being done by Axl [not very well, mind you], who is hiding in the bushes somewhere; the body is propped onto a chair): Why yes, my little sex babe, it is me! I was just doing a sermon some towns back, with my good friend, Sol Badguy.

Sol: Friend?! (remembers plan) Oh, yes, friend.

Jam:  Strange... (Sol and Axl almost fear their plan will backfire on them) You never made mention of sex before... Is that your intention?

Ky (nervous): Um, yes?

Jam: OKAY! Just give me a couple of minutes! 

Sol (laughing out loud; playing along): HAHAHAHA!! Ky, look what you got yourself into! (Jam walks inside; slaps the corpse into a wall) Damn! She missed it. Wait... Axl, give me my 'good friend' Ky.

Johnny: This is gonna be bad.

(Inside Jam's closed restaurant, she is merely putting on some kinky lingerie and the whatnot, not at all hearing what's going on outside)

Ky (still Axl's voice): RIDE THE LIGHTNING! How could I miss!?

Sol: Big mistake. NAPALM DEATH! (Sol's attack sends Ky's body through one of the walls of the restaurant)

Johnny (announcer-type voice): DESTROYED!

Anji: And now we run?

Chipp: Run, like hell!

(Axl, Sol, Anji, Chipp, and Johnny are all a good few hundred feet where they he--)

Jam (terrified): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(...Never mind.)

Sol (happy): And that's the end of that chapter.

(A day or two passes, and a funeral precession of the beloved captain of the Police occurs; Sol is the only one not paying any form of respect, that jackass.)

Sol: Thanks.

(Axl, Johnny, Anji, and Chipp leave the area)

Axl (sad): You should have been there, Chief. (blows his nose on his bandana, then re-equips it)

Chipp (sad; bawling): HOLY ZEN! IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL PRECESSION! A hero's salute! (blows his nose on Anji)

Anji: No! (bops Chipp on the head again)

Johnny: And people wonder why there's an Anji/Chipp yaoi pairing.

Sol (smile): Funny. Because while you were down there mourning to God boy, I was thinking of why people didn't make a Johnny/Bridget yaoi pairing yet?

Chipp: Now that's a burn!

Johnny: I feel... so unclean...

Axl: GUYS, LOOK! (points to a wall, with "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID" covered in blood) Someone saw us murder Ky!

Sol (irritated): Impossible!

Johnny: But who could have seen us?

(The other GG characters who walk past them almost take a minute to see them through a quick, pain-inducing glance, but then walk off, especially Jam Kuradoberi. But all of a sudden, Anji points his fan towards Sol and Axl)

Johnny: And a Sol/Axl coupling too.

Chipp (discipline-tone): Iie! [No!] (smacks Anji with the flat-side of his blade)

Anji: OW! Now **that** actually hurt!

(Night time; they are in an abandoned apartment, the only one with a phone a connection in the room, though they did not heartily notice it)

Axl: You know, just sitting here in the moonlight is pretty fine.

Chipp: Holy Zen! Go fish!

(Clouds covered the moon; someone starts crying like a sissy school girl; clouds disappear, and the moonlight reveal Johnny in a distant corner, sucking his thumb)

Sol (laughing his ass off): Now that, is funny!

Johnny (regaining his posture): I'm sorry. Sometimes, it's healthy to break down and cry like a sissy.

Anji: Probably in Johnny-ville.

(The phone rings; all except Sol scream out of a terrifying rush; Sol is a bit more irritated)

Axl (answering the phone; nervous): H-hello?

Mysterious voice: I know you are alone, young one.

Axl: Um, not really...

Mysterious voice: Is this... Jam Kuradoberi?

Axl: No. This is Axl Low.

Testament: Oh, sorry. It's me, Testament. I heard Ky had passed on, and well, since she also called me a cute looking guy, I thought I'd, you know, pick up after him.

(Axl hangs up)

Sol: That's it. I'm getting some air. (leaves)

Others: WAIT UP! (run after him)

(In the night, Sol, Axl, Johnny, Anji, and Chipp are walking in an abandoned area of the city they are now in; a sneaking sound is barely heard)

Sol: Huh?

Anji: Huh?

Chipp: Huh?

Johnny: Huh?

Axl: DEMONS!!! (gets slapped upside the head by the flat side of the Fireseal)

Johnny: If what we are facing is **in fact** a blood-thirsty demon, then we have to see it in action, to determine a weak point.

(In the distance, we see a lovely couple [Dizzy/Bridget; my fav] walking hand-in-hand, an engagement ring in each of their hands; a flash passes by them, and blood spurts from their chests, causing them to collapse; the others are just shocked)

(Johnny says nothing)

Sol: Wow...

Chipp: NOW we need a plan!

Sol: Okay... this is how it will work: we will place ourselves in obscured and hidden places, and then ambush said freak. (to Anji) Anji, you'll hide in that abandoned open parking lot.

Anji: You suck.

Sol: Okay. (to Chipp) Chipp, the dilapidated dojo.

Chipp: Holy Zen!

Sol: Whatever. (to Johnny) Johnny, the closed music store.

Johnny: ... That is acceptable.

Sol: (to Axl) Axl, closed down Chinese rave club

Axl (confused): Why!?

Sol: And I'll go skinny-dipping in (points to a large-pool type area) that artificial lake where I killed the two sexy teens who insulted me last year on this very night.

(A mysterious figure appears behind him)

Sol (turns around): Now, Ky, you'll go--(realizes who he is talking to; the other four start screaming in fear, and Sol himself gives an unexpected yelp) Yah!

Ky: Hello.

Axl (crying): KY KISKE!? BUT HOW CAN IT BE!? I KILLED YOU!!!

Ky: Well, to be perfectly honest, you really **can't** kill the undead.

Sol (stabs Ky in the eye with his Fireseal; Ky is not phased): Hmm... he's undead alright.

Anji: So are you dead, Mr. Policeman?

Ky: Oh-ho, I wish. (contemplating) You see, that night, when you ran me down with your vehicle, I was in hot pursuit with the lead Robo-Ky...

(Flashback; Ky is in hot pursuit after Robo-Ky;)

Robo-Ky: I MUST SHAKE YOU OFF! (charging attack) SACRED EDGE! (giant white beam comes out) AND HAVE SOME OF THESE! (missiles pop out of Robo-Ky's chest and locks onto Ky)

Ky (gets hit by the Sacred Edge): RIDE THE LIGHTNING! (charges and makes the Robo-Ky explode) Well, now, I can relax and enjoy my--(gets tackled by an unsuspected dragon) GAH!! 

(Some type of weird glowing occurs as Ky's Thunderseal unintentionally pierces the dragon's heart, and it collapses on the poor French officer; some time passes, and what emerges from the dragon's body is some mist, and a mutated, giant dragon-human, who stumbles onto the road, which is caught off guard by some car lights)

Johnny (in car): Hey Anji! Blow away the mist with your wind-type fans!

Anji (in car): What!? I can't control the winds! Though that is, in return, a question I should ask myself...

Axl (cautious; in car): I think I better pull over, and play it safe.

(The vehicle hits the dragon-being, with Fireseal stabbing the being in the chest, making it fall down, and reverting back to Ky Kiske)

(End flashback)

Chipp: So **you** were going to kill **us**.

Ky (laughing a little bit): Yeah.

(Everyone starts laughing; Ky looks around to see mist forming, and he starts to transform into the dragon-human thing once more, and sprays lightning everywhere)

Sol (laughing the loudest): Hey God-boy, gonna 'spark' up some fun with your w**** after you get back and explain your death to her?! Now that's rich! Hey guys! See how I insulted Dragon Ky--(turns around; sees them running away) Party poopers. I guess I get--

(Sol gets pounced and violently attacked by Dragon Ky)

Sol: So you **are** gay with me, you sicko!?

Dragon Ky: WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?

(And the fight pretty much goes on for a while)

--

As the usual... Yeah...


	8. Ky's Omega Factor Johnnystyle

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

I own nothing except this fic, therefore you can't sue me.

--

(Here's episode eight; Johnny is wandering the Mayship without a good reason.)

Johnny: God damn, I'm so bored.

Testament: I'd say the same as well.

Johnny: How'd you get on?

Testament: Duh. It's obvious: I'm the s***, man.

Johnny: (giving Testament an odd look) Go to bed.

Testament: You're no fun Johnny... (walks off to bed)

Johnny: I wonder what's on the TV?

(Johnny makes a miraculous journey, fraught with no peril and little emergency [he had to go]; he heads to the cockpit, and decides to watch TV)

News broadcaster: It appears that, due to a hilarious incident from one Sol Badguy and his infamous "frogs' leg with Chinese sauce" joke, new head of the Holy Order Ky Kiske has plotted to assassinate the rogue American.

Johnny: Lousy frog. Wait... Ah, I'm going down to the surface.

(Johnny embarks on a repeat journey to the hangar)

Johnny: I'm going down.

April: Be careful, Johnny.

Johnny: If I don't come back, avenge my death.

April: You say that everytime, Johnny.

Johnny: I know. And, please tell May that I always thought of her, as that annoying little sister I **might** have had when my family was still alive.

May (happy): OH GOD, TAKE ME NOW! (clings onto Johnny's arm)

Johnny (scared): Get this thing off me! (throws May off) Well, now, I'm off to Zepp for a few mins. Okay? (grabs a small ship, and flies down to the city of Zepp)

Testament: Um, May, why would you want him to "take you" if he _just_ referred to you as a younger sister?

May: I'm just happy that Johnny acknowledges me!

Venom: Yes indeed, and now if you'll excuse me, I'll go away. (Venom jumps down the hatch) GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--(splat)

(Johnny walks around where he landed; he sees a fall-out shelter store)

Salesman: Hey, good sir. I have to tell you some news!

Johnny: Me? Of what?

Salesman: I heard because of that joke, Mr. Ky Kiske is going to hit Sol with a nuclear bomb! Today!!

Johnny (panicking): Oh my god!! (runs into a shelter) ... So, what can you tell me about this puppy here.

Salesman: Well, this baby can withhold a 600 Megaton blast, no more, no less.

Johnny: So logically speaking, a 601 Megaton bomb would obliterate this place like a girl losing her virginity, and a 599 Megaton bomb would crumple this thing like a piece of paper?

Salesman: Afraid so.

(Meanwhile...)

Ky: So, Sol thinks that he can insult me and my dear Jam with that tumultuous insult? Well, (crazy) When I bomb his sorry ass, he'll then learn not to insult a Frenchman! (laughs evilly, his cheeks moving like a frog croaking; total Simpsons rip-off right here)

Soldier: Sir! We have found out that Sol Badguy is in Zepp somewhere!

Ky: Fire the bomb!

(a hidden bomb is revealed, and launched)

Soldier: Or maybe he's leaving Zepp, I don't know exactly.

Ky (shock): ... ... ... Crap...

(The missile heads straight to Zepp, and skids right past an airplane)

Sol (looks from his seat): F***. I bet I'll get blamed for that.

(In an area of Zepp)

Justice (happy and evil): Ah, the time was right! And now, I'll have vengeance on the one Gear that killed me! Now, where's the nearest orphanage that I can obliterate? (looks to his left) Ooh, chalupas!

(The missile heads straight for Justice)

Justice (saddened): Oh, I wasted my revival.

(Explodes right on Justice; hell has officially broken loose on this floating continent; but is everyone dead? Some time passes)

Johnny (comes out of the shelter unharmed; not aware that death is around every corner): That felt good. Well, I'll give you one thing: if you want people to live, then actually can *good* food. Bleh...

(Johnny walks on a barren street and appears at a cross-walk; the sign turns to walk, but the unknown-to-Johnny corpse is not moving)

Johnny: Excuse me. The sign is walk, jackass. (unsheathes his katana) Maybe a nice stab in the back will get you going! (cuts the corpse in the back) I still got it!(now he notices) Hey... what's with all this death? It couldn't have happened yet! Could it?

(He looks to a newspaper stand; on the papers, it says that "NUCLEAR BOMB THAT OCCURRED YESTERDAY INSTILLING FEAR")

Johnny: Oh my God! I've **slept** through this nightmare! 

(Johnny realizes something; he falls to his knees)

Johnny (heart-broken): The girls! Were they in the vicinity!? OH MY GOD! I'VE LOST MY GIRLS!! AND TESTAMENT! April... Testament... even that little May... I'VE LOST THEM ALL! (starts crying; stops) No... the girls wouldn't want to see me cry... 

(as if on cue, some triumphant trumpets start playing)

Johnny: It's time for _this_ Johnny to laugh again! HEEHEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I'M THE ONLY PERSON ALIVE IN ZEPP, AND (aside) until the authorities come, (normal) I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT! I can even live out my fantasy!

(Johnny is walking around the streets... in only his shoes, holding all his clothes; other than making sweet love to every single beautiful lady he could, this is his basic fantasy: walking around nude in the streets)

Johnny: Oh, (singing) I'm walking on sunshine! Hey-e-hey. I'm walking on sunshine! And I'm feeling good too! OOH! (he walks into a diner) Maybe there are survivors here. 

Mysterious voice: YOU SIR ARE RIGHT!

(A flaming torch almost burns Johnny in the back, but luckily he dodges it)

Johnny: Who the!? (turns around) AAA!!

Horribly disfigured and hooded figure: SILENCE! AND PUT ON SOME UNDERWEAR AT LEAST!

Johnny: Sorry. (puts on some undies) Wait a minute... (looks) You're MUTANTS!

Hood #4: The term, 'mutant', is just too harsh. Can't you call us freaks? Or monsters?

Johnny: Okay... You sick freaks.

Hood #4: Thanks.

Disfigured May: Johnny!!!

Johnny (happy): MAY! You're alive! (grossed out) And part of your skin is coming off! What happened to you!? I thought you were on the ship!

May: Well, you see, I heard of the nuclear missile/bomb, and I took a ship to locate you; luckily, even though I'm **horribly disfigured**, I survived the explosion! See how devoted I am to you! (Johnny is about to say something) And don't give me anything about I'm like your little sister, Johnny!  
  


Johnny: Well... what do you want with me?

May: Well, after the explosion, only a grand few of us survived the blast.

REALLY disfigured Faust: In Zepp, we are merely trying to rebuild a new society! A society, where the mistakes of the past are to be eradicated.

Dark Potemkin (super-deep voice): And now, you must **die**.

(Johnny grabs the torch, and almost instantly, his katana was well-endowed with flames)

Johnny: You want a piece of this Johnny? Then come and get me! (starts to run off)

(He could not believe how he had to run from this marauding group of mutants; he suddenly spies a car; he breaks through the back window, makes a nice roll into the front seat, stabs his katana into the machine, and it somehow hot-wires itself)

Johnny (trying to put on his clothes at the same time): Awesome! (drives off) So long, suck--(looks back and sees all of them riding a demonic ride) AW, F*** OFF, YOU LOUSY MUTANTS!!

(The vehicle drives up to his driver's seat)

May: Aw, C'mon Johnny! (demon-sounding) Can't your 'little sister' just nibble on your delicious meaty neck?

Johnny: Go to hell, May! You know that's sick! (stabs her face with his katana)

May: OW!

Faust: You're not (jumps onto Johnny's windshield) being a good patient!!

Johnny: Outta my way, freakies! (he pops the car hood up, sending Faust onto the road behind him)

Faust (saying his death quote as he's rolling all over the freeway): Sekai saidai no watashi ga yande shimau to ha anyoninyuni[To think the greatest in the world, me, would get injured blah blah blah]--(explodes)

Johnny: ... HAHAHAHA!! That was--(Faust's head appears on his lap) AUGH!!!

Faust's head: I'M DEAD BEFORE DAWN! I'M DEAD BEFORE DAWN! (gets thrown onto the street by Johnny again; explodes) OUCH!!

(he takes a right turn, losing the demon car, and sees a van; that van belongs to none other than the band who plays the Guilty Gear music, A.S.H. Sadly...)

Johnny: Get out of my way, you sick gaggle of mutant scum!! 

(Johnny plows right through them)

An A.S.H. band member: GAH!!!

(He sees a familiar ship at the other side of town)  
  
Johnny: The Mayship! Testament and the girls might still be safe!! 

(He breaks the car to a skidding halt; this Johnny gets out only to find that the mutants were still after him; he reaches a door, and closes it behind him)

Johnny (breathing heavily): *pant* *pant* Well, *pant* that *pant* was close. (door knock) That better not be the freak mutants. (opens the door behind him; mutants see him) GAH!

Girl's voice: Johnny?

(Johnny turns around, he sees April, Testament, and the rest of the Jellyfish Pirates)

Johnny: Ladies! You're all alive! I'm so happy!

Testament: AHEM!

Johnny: Oh, and Testament.

Testament: F***er.

Johnny: How did you survive?

April: Well, the Mayship is pretty big, so we huddled ourselves to the farthest most area away from the explosion.

Testament: Also considering that we were about a good 50 clicks away from the actual fading of the explosion.

Johnny: Well, nonetheless, I'm so relieved that you're so alive!

(Johnny hugs some of the Pirate girls and Testament)

Testament: I detest hugs!

Mutants: Aww...

Potemkin (crying): Seeing these types of things makes a tear form in your eye-socket, doesn't it? (his eye falls out)

Hood #4: Through all the skin-eating and organ-harvesting, we forgot about the love.

May (sad, walks up to Johnny): Johnny, um, I'm sorry I tried to, bite you, and kill you, and tried to eat your jugular. Can you ever forgive me?

Johnny: Aww; May, even though you're a hideous mutant whose skin is falling off, you're still like family to--

(Necro and Undine, just happened to burst out at the most inopportune time)

Necro (draws weapon): Now you all will die! (he grabs his bow, and sends energy blasts to kill all the mutants)

May: Wow... good thing you didn't kill me.

Undine: Oh May! If we didn't recognize you, we'd flash-fry you as well!

Johnny: OH CRAP, DIZZY! Where is she?

[Author's note: I highly emphasize my liking of the Bridget/Dizzy pairing]

Undine: She went off on her honeymoon with her new hubby.

Johnny: She's a nice girl, but has bad taste in men.

April and Testament: That Bridget person was a man!?

(Everyone laughs)

--

(Oh right... I forgot to tie up all loose ends in this chap; zoom into a bedroom, where Ky and Jam just finished 'doing it')

Jam: That was so wonderful, Ky. (door bell) Aw man, and I wanted another go.

Ky: I'll be right back. (kisses Jam on the cheek) Please wait for me.

Jam: Oh, okay.

(Ky comes down the stairs, wearing only a robe, when he opens the door, and he sees)

Sol: Hello.

Ky: SOL!? I THOUGHT I--

Sol: Killed me? Well, looks like your French plans failed! (draws Fireseal) Anything to say before I kill you?

Ky (French accent appearing out of nowhere): Zut alors! Zis is my Waterloo!

--

Well... just wait...


	9. Potemkin's Devil May Ky

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear franchise, nor do I own the Simpsons Halloween specials; note that this does not imply that I own Simpsons.

I own nothing except this fic, which therefore means that you cannot sue me. See? The system works.

--

(Episode nine, start! Sol is bored inside an apartment)

Sol (clutching his stomach in pain): Oh man… Why am I feeling this!? I'm a Gear, damn it! I'm not supposed to feel hunger! Ow…

(Sol throws his arms into the air)

Sol: I'D SELL MY SOUL FOR THE BEST MEAL IN THE WORLD!!

Mysterious Voice #4 [I like to make fun of Yu-Gi-Oh monster names]: Well, running through the files, I'm _surprised you actually _have_ a soul. Alright, let's get this over with._

(Before Sol lies a pentagram, and Ky Kiske comes out of a flash of flames)

Ky: **Hell**o Sol.

Sol: KY!? (looks at him strangely) You're the devil?

Ky (slightly embarrassed): Yeah. I guess it's always the one you least suspect.

Sol: Actually, the one I least suspected to be the devil would be, I don't know, Bridget, or Dizzy, or May, or anyone of Johnny's girls.

Ky: Yeah, me too. *ahem* But nevertheless, I've come to make your wish come true.

Sol: Thank god! Where's my bitch?

Ky: No no, Sol. The one where you said you'd sell your soul for the best meal in the world.

Sol: Okay, fine, fine. Where's a contract?

(Out of flames comes a contract; Sol signs it without reading the fine print)

Ky: Alright. Now, we wait.

Sol (wondrous): So, when did you become the Devil?

Ky: I was always the Devil.

Sol: No you're not! You're a prissy God-boy!

Ky: God damn you, Sol! I am the Devil!

Sol: I'll believe that when I actually see some--

(another pentagram comes up; out comes a devil Jam wearing nothing but an apron saying "Jam's Hell Kitchen" and holding a tray)

Jam: Here you go! "The Best Meal in the World!" (gives it to Sol; to Ky) And I'll see you later!

Ky: Oh Jam, you're so dirty! (Jam disappears) Now, let's move on to the ownage of soul--(sees Sol almost done his meal)

Sol: Huh? (stops eating) So, I'm guessing that if I finish this meal, you get my soul, right?

Ky: Of course.

Sol: So… if I don't finish this, then you don't get my soul?

Ky: Technically that's true.

Sol: ALRIGHT! (starts dancing) I'm smarter than the Devil! I'm smarter than th—

Ky (turns into a giant devil; demon voice): YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME!! I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL, SOL BADGUY!! (vanishes)

Sol: Heh. (puts the meal away) Not bloody likely. (looks at the meal) … Crap…

(some time passes; on the Mayship)

Sol: JOHNNY! Where are you?

Johnny: Sol!? What do you want?

Sol: I'm gonna be honest with you; I made a deal with the devil on the grounds that (pulls out a meal box) if I finish the last of this **delectable meal, then I lose my soul. (scared) And I'm tempted. So can I stay here?**

Johnny: Don't worry. You're in good hands. 

(Sol and Johnny walk around)

May (walks by): Sol.

Sol (unenthused): May.

Dizzy (walks by with Bridget in tow): Sol.

Bridget: Sol.

Sol (unenthused): Dizzy. Bridget.

Testament (death voice): Sol.

Sol (unenthused): Testament.

April (cheery): Sol.

Sol (almost about to rip someone to shreds): April.

Potemkin: Hello Sol.

Sol (unenthused): Potemkin. (looks back) Potemkin!?

Johnny: Yeah. He's on vacation.

Sol: Oh.

Potemkin: And I earned it! 

Johnny: I bet you did.

May (calling from the other side): Hey Potemkin!! We're going down to Verdant! Wanna come?

Potemkin (excited): DO I!? (runs to join May)

(It is now nighttime; in the fridge, we see Sol's soul meal; who opened the fridge?)

Potemkin: I am so hungry. What's this? (finishes soul meal) Oh man! That was so filling with so little.

Ky (appearing in a quick flash of fire): Finishing something, Potemkin?

Potemkin: Why yes! It's the tastiest meal I ever--(realizes something) Uh oh.

(A portal opens up, and is drawing Potemkin in)

Sol (wandering in; his ponytail flailing around): You muscle-headed ass clown, did you finish **my** meal?

Potemkin: Um… maybe?

(Potemkin gets sucked in… halfway)

Ky: God damn it. I told those idiots to make a bigger portal, but they never listen.

May (in a nightgown): What's going on?

Sol: Kiske! What are you doing?

Ky: Oh. I just manipulated the contract a little, stating that if anyone or anything finishes your little meal, then I get that being's soul!  
  


May: Now wait a minute! I believe Potemkin has the right to a fair trial!

Sol: True. (under his breath) You manipulative son of a--

Ky: Well, I guess a trial is alright. But until then, Potemkin, you will spend a day in Hell!

(Pulls out the Thunderseal, and bonks Potemkin so hard in the head with the hilt that he goes through the portal; Ky disappears)

Potemkin (falling into the entrance way to Hell): AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!

(the muscle-bound giant falls onto a conveyor belt)

Potemkin: Ah… Well, this isn't too bad. (looks up) What the? (gets comically cut up by a demon) OW OOCH EE OWW OW OUCH!! 

(the demon takes his foot, some fingers, an eye, and his mouth, and places it in a bin labeled, "Zepp food")

Potemkin: Ah, so that's what I've been eating.

(Meanwhile)

Johnny: Sol, you're helping us, right?  
  
Sol: Hell no.

Johnny: Well, you're gonna! If the Jellyfish Pirates lose Potemkin, then we'll lose President Gabriel's alliance.

Sol (unenthused; Sol does not like to help): Fine!

Testament: I'd sell my soul to see Dizzy fall in love with her one true love!

Jam (appearing out of nowhere): Sorry. Can't grant something that's already been done. (disappears)

Testament: Damn it!!! Why did it have to be Bridget!?

(That was a little loud)

Bridget: I don't think Testament likes me that much.

Dizzy: Testament! Stop tempting the Devil's wife!

Testament: Yes Dizzy.

(Meanwhile)

Demon: So, you like food, don't you?

Potemkin (tied to a chair): Um, duh. It sustains our life force, and—

Demon: Silence! Then, have (demonic) ALL THE FOOD IN THE WORLD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

(A fiend underling wheels in a tray of food with almost a bottomless keg; it starts shoveling food into Potemkin's mouth; Potemkin happily complies)

(An hour later, Potemkin has devoured all the food; his once proud and strong muscles reduced to flab)

Potemkin (he's so stuffed, he weighs 1 metric ton): Oh man! That was so good! I didn't think I could eat so much in all my life! I should thank you! (gets up with chair squished to his rump-side)

Demon (knowing he'll be destroyed for this): Well, that's the end of me!

Fiend: Damn straight.

(Back in the living world, Sol, May, and Johnny are looking for a decent lawyer)

Sol (unenthused): How about this guy? "Axl Low, rent-a-lawyer for hire."

May: Sounds too un-professional.

Sol: Let's see… "Cue-Eye Venom."

Johnny: Nah.

Sol: Here's a good one. "Utilizing all abilities in the field, if you need a professional, contact Bri"--(stops reading; goes up to Bridget and smacks him in the back of the head)

Bridget: OW!

Sol: You are not a lawyer!

Bridget: What are you talking about? (Sol shows him the ad; shocked) I meant to place that in the 'Bounty Hunter' section! I've been making an idiot out of myself!

Testament: HAHAHA! That's funny.

Bridget (drawing Yo-yo): You wanna go, Testament!?

Testament (summons scythe): I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!

Johnny: Hey Sol, come here.

Sol (ignores the two of them fighting each other): Yeah, what is it?

May: Here's a good one!

Sol: Let's see. "Dr. Faust; Part-time lawyer, and communes with the super-natural. Case won in 30 minutes, or your scalpel in the ass is free." Sadly, he sounds like the best one possible.

Announcer: SLASH!!

(two loud thud noises occur; Sol, May, and Johnny look back; Bridget and Testament knocked each other out)

Dizzy (angry): Serves them right!!

Sol: I missed it! Thanks a lot, Johnny!

May: Hmm… I'd sell my soul for a clone of Johnny that was in love with ME!

Ky (appears, with a Johnny clone in hand): Well, young May, _that can be easily arranged._

May: I like my soul. Sorry!

(Ky disappears, and the Johnny clone burns away in a flash)

May (mesmerized): Cool!

Johnny (rage): DAMN IT, MAY! STOP PESTERING SATAN!

(meanwhile, in a demonic bowling alley, a demon picks up Potemkin's head, and rolls him down the lane)

Potemkin: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA--Hey, this is kind of fun! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--(hits a spike-studded pin) MIGOTO! [WELL DONE!]

(On the deck of the Mayship, Sol, Johnny, and Testament await the arrival of their lawyer, Dr. Faust.)

Testament (with a bandage on his head): Look! There he is!

Faust: (coming down from an umbrella) Hello there--(wind carries him into the propeller; I'll save you the details)

Johnny: Um, I think I'll move that.

Faust (real Faust; appears behind Johnny): Oh don't worry about it! That was my body double!

Sol: WAH!

Testament: AAAHHH!! (jumps into Johnny's arms)

Johnny: Get off me, you woman!

(It's time for the trial; In the main hall of the Mayship, we see our people waiting for some sign; suddenly, a flaming cage appears before them. Potemkin's body appears inside, with his head finally appearing)

Johnny: Hey big guy. How was Hell?

Potemkin: Aside from having my head used as a bowling ball, I'm well fed and I found some perfect reds for my coloring pencils. (holding brimstone)

April: That is beautiful.

(A grim reaper judge and the Devil appear as well)

Grim Reaper: Let us get this over with.

Faust: But first some ground rules: First, we must get at least half-hour restroom breaks.

Ky (happy): Agreed! Secondly, the jury will be chosen by me!

Faust: Agreed! No, wait--

Ky: I give to you the JURY OF THE DAMNED!! (announcing style) Assassin leader Zato-1; the forbidden beast shadow Eddie; Guilty Gear creator Daisuke Ishiwatari-san!

Daisuke Ishiwatari: But I'm not dead! In fact, I was just in the middle of developing **Guilty Gear Isuka**, and we're starting on **Sammy vs. Capcom**!

Ky: Hey, I did you a favor!

Daisuke Ishiwatari: Yes, master.

Ky: (continues on) Gear messiah Justice; Demon musician I-No; and I present to you the development team of the Guilty Gear X Advance game for Game Boy Advance!

Dizzy: Wow, that's a lot.

Bridget and May: You're telling me.

(court is now in session)

Ky: Now, I made a deal with this sturdy and hard fellow, in whom he exchanged his _soul_, for the best meal in the world, whom MY Jam delivered!

Jam: And that was oh-so FINE!

Justice: Yup.

Zato-1: Can't argue with Jam!

I-No: Yeah, who **hasn't** done her?

Eddie: Um, that's not what we're arguing about.

Justice: Indeed.

Zato-1: True.

Eddie: Yup.

Daisuke Ishiwatari: Can't complain.

Potemkin: Um, if I'm allowed to say anything, it is that I did not make that deal with the almighty Prince of Darkness.

Sol: Heh. Prince.

Grim Reaper: On what proof do you have that you did not make this pact?

Ky (evil): Yes, what proof?

Potemkin (digging into his pockets): Wait, let's see. Ah, here it is! (pulls out a sheet of paper) Read this! (hands it to one of the jurors)

Zato-1: This could be a map to the lost city of Gold!

Eddie: You fool! You can't see!

Zato-1: Ah yes. That's true. I gave up my sight (gets angry all of a sudden) TO YOU! (punches Eddie)

Eddie: Ow!

Justice: Punch him Eddie! You too Zato!

I-No: Give me that! (reads the paper) If you allow me to become a worker of Zepp, then I will pledge my ever-going loyalty and… _my soul to you._

Sol: And the fact that **I** made the deal with Ky, but he 'manipulated' the contract.

Zato-1: We've heard enough! Your honor, we, the jury, state that Potemkin's soul belongs to himself and Zepp, and not of the Devil!

Ky: Oh, poo.

May and Johnny: YAY!!

Potemkin: WHOO-HOO! (head gets burned by top of fire cage) Ouch!

(The jurors and judge disappear)

Faust: Well, looks like we got the best of that! Here's your free scalpel in the ass! (scalpels Johnny)

Johnny: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!

Ky: Alright. Potemkin can keep his soul. But be forewarned, that let the best meal's curse lie FOREVER ON YOUR BEING!!! (zaps Sol) HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sol: AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

(The next day, in the Mayship mess hall; it appears that May, Dizzy, Bridget, Potemkin, and April are all licking their fingers and tasting... Sol?)

Sol (still fuming): I can't believe Ky did this to--(turns to April) STOP TASTING ME!!

May: Awww, but you're so sweet and tasty!

Bridget: Yeah, it's not our fault you taste like strawberry mousse.

Dizzy: Like the ones I make!

Testament (cynical): Really? (glides finger on Sol's arm; tastes) My God! It's like an orgy in my mouth!! I want more!

Potemkin (wiping mouth with napkin): Someone pass the chocolate syrup.

April: Here you go.

Potemkin: Thank you.

Johnny: We're flying over Colony.

Sol: Well, to get away from you freaks, I may as well get off here.

Johnny (trying to stop Sol): Uh, I actually wouldn't recommend that, Sol.

Sol: Why!?

(Down on the Colony)

Baiken (with Anji and Chipp, holding eating utensils and licking their lips): Don't worry boys! He's gotta come out someday!

--

Yeah...


	10. Axl's Citizen Raven

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

You can't sue me, because I already own this fic! NYAH!

--

(Here's episode ten-o: Axl's relaxing in a boat over a quiet serene lake, fishing rod in tow)

Axl: Now this is the life... Just relaxing on a little boat, in this great tranquil base of water, with only the worries of how to get back to my time, nagging in the back of my head. *happy sigh* (pissed) YOU STUPID FISH!! YOU WANT A PIECE OF LOW!? THEN BRING IT!!

(an eerie light soon illuminates itself over Axl; Axl looks up; it's a UFO)

Axl: Holy crap!

(A large crane drops itself down, and grabs Axl in the face)

Axl (muffled): Whut the!? OU!! (the crane loses grip on Brit boy) AUGH!! (hits water; crane dives in after him; now gets carried away) HELP ME!!!

(somewhere in the distance)

Baiken: What the hell was that?

Anji: Beats the Fujin out of me.

Chipp: Holy Zen!

(with Axl; he is being surrounded by two people)

Axl: Oh my God... Aliens... Don't eat me! I have a girlfriend in another time period! EAT HER!

That Man: Calm yourself. We are not here to devour people. My name is That Man. And this is my assistant, Raven.

Raven: Hello.

Axl: Oh, I get it. If you want to probe me, then (starts pulling down pants) at least I won't complain.

Raven: AUGH! STOP!!

That Man: For the first time in my life, I'm actually being damaged physically and mentally!

Axl: Oh, so you're not the probing variety?

That Man: Dear God, NO!

Axl (sighing): Phew! That's a relief! (puts pants back on) So, why did you kidnap me?

Raven: We kidnapped you because we want you to take us to your leader!

Axl (confused): Of which place? You have to be more specific than that, you know.

That Man: … Silence!!!

Axl (lifting an eyebrow): So?

Raven: Take us to the leader of the place where technology thrives!

Axl: Well, that would obviously be the new President Potemkin of Zepp.

That Man: Then Zepp will be our target point!

Axl: But, he might not be the president anymore. Because the crazy Dr. Faust is actually planning to run against Potemkin, for the purposes of making more effective medical technologies!

Raven: Ah, an election. This ought to be fun.

That Man: Does this 'Faust' reside in Zepp?

Axl:  I think so.

That Man: LET'S ROLL!!!

Raven: BOOYAH!!

(they crash the UFO into the street; Faust just happens to walk by)

Faust: Ayah!? What's this?

(a crane grabs Faust; Faust gets dragged inside; the UFO takes off once again, this time crashing in front of a house. The large crane conveniently rings the doorbell)

Potemkin (from inside): Now wait right here, class. I must answer the door. (opens the door) Now how can I--AUUUUUUUGH!! (gets captured; UFO flies off)

Student A: Does this mean that class is cancelled?

Student B: Guess so.

Eddie: HELP ME!!! I NEED A NEW HOST!! (runs out of time; dies)

Student C: Oh, I can use this black!

(On the UFO)

Potemkin (in a really powerful container): What do you freaks want with us?

Faust: Most importantly, why is Axl here?

Axl: I honestly don't know.

That Man: Enough!

Raven: Now, our plans can begin!

(That Man presses a button, which fills each container with some liquid that puts them both to sleep)

Raven: Now, for phase two!

(Raven and That Man both stand next to the tubes, allowing a machine to be placed on their heads, slowly converting their cellular makeup to slowly become Potemkin and Faust fakes; Axl is hiding somewhere, seeing all this in terror)

Axl: Oh my God… Body-stealing… Politics… **NUDE conspiracies!? This is terrible!**

Raven (looks like Potemkin): What? You still here!

That Man (looks like Faust): Looks like we'll have to dispose of you!!

(A beam-looking thing comes down above Axl's head; it sprays him with stuff)  
  
Axl: AUGH!! What is this!?

That Man: Gin, cola, and sex! So no one will believe your story!

Raven (kicks Axl out of the UFO): And don't come back!!

(Axl screams whilst plummeting back onto the boat where he was abducted)

Axl: Whoa… (sounding mysterious) was that a dream? Perhaps a vision? No, it was real! OH RIGHT! THE ALIENS! 

(Axl makes his way off the boat, and he runs his way into town; he also runs into his apartment that he shares with two fellow British men)

Venom: Well, I see that you're up already.

Bridget: Well, you know, I was up all night!

Venom: Let me guess: You were giving it to her?

Bridget (embarrassed; blushing): Venom, stop!

Venom: Oh, you were!

Bridget: God damn you, man! Cut it out!

Venom: You know I kid.

Bridget: Well, might as well make something to eat. What would you like?

Venom: I'm starting on the Assassin's diet, so I'll just have some French toast with light maple syrup with maybe a hinting of strawberry. (pointing out) But no powdered sugar! I'm an Assassin; I don't need any. Oh what the hell, I'll let myself go, I'll have some powdered sugar.

(Axl bursts through the door)

Axl: GUYS! There are aliens! Politically involved aliens! And they want to obtain Zepp's power and technology for unknown reasons!

Venom (smells Axl): Whoa! Yeah right, you alcohol-drenched sex hound!

Axl: Look! (points to the TV) That's them! The intergalactic bastards!

(It happens to be a presidential… uh… thing going on)

Raven: Well, it is time for you to know that if you ele--I mean, _re_-elect me as President of Zepp, then I will continue to make us the most powerful nation in the world!

(Crowd cheers)

That Man: But, if you elect me as President of Zepp, then with my medical prowess, we could end up saving the entire world, giving Zepp more respect! (sees that crowd is not reacting) AND POWER!

(Crowd cheers)

Some guy on TV: I find power sexy.

Axl: See!? 

Bridget: Axl, I must say that you are the **worst liar I've ever heard.**

Venom: Indeed.

Axl: Well, I'll show you all wrong! I KNOW I'M RIGHT!! (runs off)

Dizzy (wearing nothing but bed sheets): *yawn* Good morning, my love. (looks at the table) Aww, you made breakfast. How sweet of you!

Bridget: It was nothing.

Venom: Hands off my toast, you harpy!

(With Axl, he's heading his ass over to a transport area where it will take him to Zepp; there, he already makes some terrible hardships)

Axl: No, I do **not** want an aisle seat!!

(And runs amok of some turbulence)

Axl: No, I did not want the kosher meal!

(Axl finally makes it to Zepp, and bursts into the crowd that is cheering for their "presidential candidates")

Axl: Good people! These are not the good and kind candidates you think they are! They're aliens! ALL OF THEM!

Random Bum: Yeah right!

Exodia: (sarcastic) And I'm a demon! Get off there, you bum!

Raven: Now, for defying us and wanting to stop us for no reason, I will destroy you, crazy person! LONG LIVE ZEPP!

(Raven does a mock Gigantor, and slams Axl into the wall)

Random Bum #2: Yeah Potemkin!!

Doctor: Hey! Faust is going to win!!

Random Bum #2: POTEMKIN!

Doctor: FAUST!!

(They beat the s*** out of each other.)

(much later)

Axl (wondering in the woods all by himself): Why won't anyone believe my crazy story? I'm so alone! Megumi, I miss you! I HATE THESE PEOPLE! (kicks something) OW! That hurt! (draws sickle and chains) I'LL KILL YOU!! 

(When Axl strikes something, he hears a clang, and Axl finds the aliens' space ship.)

Axl: Wow! It was here all along! The aliens' spaceship! (enters to see Potemkin and Faust still in the position of living death) Don't worry fellows! I will save you valiantly! Though I wish I knew what that meant!

(Axl presses a button that releases them both out of living death)

Potemkin: What the!? Oh no… I'm I still here?

Faust: I would like to ask that same question as well. (looks at Axl) Oh, Axl. You chose to save us?

Axl: Duh! If I didn't, those other guys would end up taking over Zepp, and then even the world! (Axl presses a button that sends the ship flying)

Potemkin: You know what? Being confined in cryogenic sleep gave me something to think about.

Faust: Like what?

Potemkin: Well, I was thinking: couldn't we just work together, combining our power, technology, and medicine, to make the world a better place?

Faust: I like your style! But, that again will make us argue on who should be the president! I know we would be trying to work together, but who gets to act as the figurehead?

Potemkin (triumphant): We'll decide that later! AXL! Take us back to Zepp!

Faust: Let's scalpel some alien butt!

Axl: Way ahead of you guys! (Axl accidentally pushes a button that will fire Potemkin and Faust out)

Potemkin: OH NO!! (gets fired out; hits a lake)

Faust: YAMIIIIIIIIII--(gets fired out; gets eaten by a dragon)

Axl: Oh no! What have I done!? What am I doing!? WHAT MORE WILL I DO!? (hits a button that sends him soaring at high speeds) AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!

(In the main part of Zepp)

Raven: I have only given my true and honest word! This is why you must vote me, Ra--I mean, Potemkin!

(Crowd cheers)

That Man: I have no real way that I can counteract against my opponent's remark. Though, whether you vote for either of us, Zepp and the world will be doomed! DOOMED!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

(a spaceship comes thundering into the ground; Axl pops out of it and lands on his face, following with an ow!)

Axl: Good people! Look upon your beloved candidates! They are nothing (removes skin-type masks from Raven and That Man) but hideous aliens who are possibly reptilian!

(Crowd is in gasp)

Raven: It's true. We are aliens! We are not reptilian, but we are aliens! 

That Man: But it doesn't matter! This is a two-party system! You have to vote for one of us!

(The Crowd mumbles amongst themselves, stating that it is a two-party system, instead of not wondering about, oh, say, just leaving.)

Sol: Well, I'm nominating myself as a third-party candidate!

Potemkin (the real one; still alive): And I, to be fourth!

That Man: Go ahead. Throw your vote away! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

(Two days pass. The result :)

Zeppian worker: All hail, President… (surprised and astounded) SOL!?

Sol (jumping up; all happy like in a giddy and/or CLAMP anime): YES!!!

That Man: Well, I'm surprised.

(What happened when Sol became president of Zepp? Well, he didn't want it in the first place and just nominated himself just to stop the aliens. So he gave the presidency back to Potemkin, under the condition that, for one day, he'll, uh… maim all the French people, British people, and Gears out there)

Venom: Well, this is certainly a fly in the ointment.

Ky: What's that supposed to mean, anyway!?

Axl: Don't look at me! I voted for Raven! 

(Sol jumps out of a nearby garbage can and…)

--

Director: Well, that was another great batch! This time, we'll try to include the less important characters like the Japanese and Chipp, and maybe I'll even tone down on my pairing love. But either way, the next season of Guilty Gear Halloween Specials will be, AWSUMA POWAA!

Chipp: Holy Zen!

Axl: I'm burnt…

Ky: I like jam…

Testament: Keeping it real, my home-beef.

Venom: That's just wrong.


	11. Preview

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

You can't sue me, because I already own this fic! NYAH!

--

(This isn't really an episode; this is just an outcome of what **might **appear in the upcoming chapters! And this isn't really humorous… And I hope my opinions don't affect any other FanFiction.net authors.)

--

May (worried and panicking): Oh no! DON'T LET JOHNNY START THE MAYSHIP!!

(The May Ship explodes, and only a sea of flames occur)

--

(Storming background; two combatants are about to do battle in the rain)

Testament: If you want Dizzy, (Summons his blood scythe) you will have to fight me for her! 

Bridget (Sounding intimidating and actually sounding like a guy): Anything for her. Let's go! (Draws Yo-yo out)

(End with the two about to charge at each other)

--

(Millia's body is drenched in blood, with Venom holding her body, tears flowing down)

Venom (Tears): Millia… my best friend, Millia… you were the only one who understood me… who did this to you!?

Millia: It was… Z… Zato… (Dies)

Venom: MIIIIIIIILLLLIIIIIIIAA!!

--

(Ky and Potemkin, in suits, start firing lightning projectiles and bullets at this one guy who is making a break for it)

Potemkin: NO ONE GETS AWAY WITH THIS!!

Ky: SACRED EDGE!

Potemkin: GIGANTOR!!

(Two strong attacks make the nearby building about to collapse on them!)

Potemkin and Ky: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

--

(Sol and Axl are on a speeding boat; a bullet hits the tank)

Axl: Chief! This looks bad! WE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT!

Sol: Wrong again, partner! Jump!

(Axl and Sol make a perfectly timed jump, avoiding certain death)

--

(In a laboratory)

Kliff (shocked): Oh my God.

Robo-Ky: What is it, sir?

Kliff: I've never seen a virus reproduce itself so fast. The human race will be doomed.

--

(In a dark castle, Johnny is dressed in full vampire-slayer ware, pulling out his katana, coming face to face with Slayer)

Johnny: Now you die, vampire scum!!

Slayer: We'll see about that!

--

(In an abandoned warehouse)

Chipp (Over an AV link): Cut the red wire? HOLY ZEN! THEY'RE ALL RED!

--

(Zappa is being interrogated)

Zappa: But I didn't kidnap Mina Tchaikovsky! Why won't anyone believe me?

Ky: Because **I AM THE LAW!!**

Zappa: Well, screw the law! 

(Zappa jumps and starts to attack Ky)

--

Cop: You're under arrest for the murder of Frederick Mercury. You have the right to remain silent!

I-No: I don't regret anything that I've done! I can rest now knowing that he's dead!

--

(A car explodes from three different angles; after explosions, a hat that says "Blackheart ZERO" is the only thing that remains)

Eddie: Rest in peace, Blackheart ZERO! KEEHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

--

(Gears come out of the water)

Baiken (drawing sword): I lost my left eye, my right arm, and my family BECAUSE OF YOU FREAKS!! (runs after the Gears)

Anji (portrayed as a little boy; yelling): ONEI-SAN! COME BACK!

--

(A blazing fire covers a once-luxurious restaurant)

Jam (in tears): WHY!? KY!! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!!??

Sol: You never loved that bastard. You wanted his vast wealth!

Jam: I KNOW!! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO END LIKE THIS!!

Sol: No. It wasn't! BUT NOW, YOU'LL JOIN HIM!

(A blood-hurtling scream echoes into the sky)

--

(In the ER)

Fanny (Yeah, I never knew this character existed. Apparently, she's this one assistant to Faust before he went crazy, and she only appeared on **Guilty Gear Petit** for the Wonder Swan or something like that; Oops, sorry): Doctor! Why can't you accept it!? He's never waking up!

(Faust slaps Fanny, denying the fact that he let another person die)

Faust: This time, I will save you!

--

(After an excruciatingly long battle)

Justice: Dizzy, I am your father. (Dies)

Dizzy (with a loyal Bridget sidekick): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

--

(On a helicopter)

Anji: Damn it! We're trapped!

Chipp: No way out!

Anji: Unless…

Baiken: We're not running!

Anji: We've no choice! (clasps fans) KAZE NO NIWATORI!! 

(Anji, Chipp, and Baiken disappear)

--

Justice: My God… He's writing more HALLOWEEN CHAPTERS!!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--(Gets squished by Monty Python foot)

Justice: Ouch…

--

Okay… experiment failed… let's stick to what's best: HUMOR!!

May: YAY!  
  


Justice: Sweet!

Bridget: Good enough.

Expect another one some other time!


	12. Chipp's Curse of SoulEaters! Not a very ...

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

You can't sue me, because I already own this fic! NYAH!

PLEASE don't hate what I'm going to do; In the Guilty Gear storyline, they already did this, because Gears are EVIL, and Japanese were eradicated! Well, except for Dizzy and Testament, and the others…

--

(Here's Chapter 11; it looks like a simple Pilgrim-esque town, and it appears they're burning… PEOPLE!?)

Kliff (the mayor): We of Isuka Town burn you three under the crimes of being Japanese! To make great equilibrium, we will kill you by burning you three at the stake!

(Crowd cheers; Kliff uses a projectile that sets fire to the stakes)

May (at the stake; raving mad): SEE YOU IN HELL, JOHNNY!!

Johnny (all happy): Goodbye, May.

(Some time later; it appears that a town meeting is in order)

Kliff: Good people! There is still a Japanese person amongst us! Though, I'm not saying that the Japanese are scourges, we must dispose of them before **greater evils** dispose of them. Now I'll open the floor for wild and crazy accusations.

Sol (giddy and in enjoyment): WOO-HOO!!! (Points to Jam, Ky's wife) I accuse goody Kiske!!

Ky: SHE'S _CHINESE_ SOL!

Potemkin: I accuse goody Seishino.

Eddie: Uh, we killed her just two weeks ago.

Faust: What about goody Mito?

Johnny: No, he's dead too.

TRUE Unknown (rage): I accuse goody Blackheart ZERO.

Lone Wolf SIX: Actually, we killed him yesterday.

TRUE Unknown: Sweet. AND I WASN'T AWARE OF IT!?

April (being a little, um, mean): Dizzy!

Dizzy (shocked): WHAT!? April, stop it! How could you!?

April: You put a curse on me! [Acting like a zombie] Must… do… Johnny…

Johnny: Girls, stop it!!

Chipp (realizing something): HOLY ZEN!! I'M JAPANESE!!

Axl: Damn it Chipp! That's not funny anymore!

Chipp (not afraid to tell people that he's Japanese): No, really! I AM JAPANESE! I was the one who mysteriously turned your vegetable crops into rice when you all went to execute that Blackheart ZERO fellow for being a Japanese standing next to that firehouse that burned down!

Slayer: You bastard.

Chipp: IT WAS I, WHO ERECTED THAT MYSTERIOUS KANJI GATE!

I-No: THAT WAS YOU!?

Jam (raving): He's JAPANESE!  
  


Potemkin: I was actually going to accuse him next.

(People are about to riot)

Kliff: Now, hold on one sec! Goody Zanuff has a chance to prove himself that he's Japanese or not.

Dizzy: True.

Bridget: I can work with that.

Sol (sulking): Wish it was Ky's broad, though…

(Scene change to Chipp in front of a cliff)

Kliff: I'm sorry for having to do this, but this is how it works. We will push you off the cliff.

Chipp: NANI!?

Kliff: Well hear me out, hear me out! If you are not Japanese, you will fall into a pitiful, crushing death.

Sol: I made the crushing part.

Bridget: And I, the pitiful part.

Dizzy: Necro and I contributed to the death part.

Zappa: PEOPLE PLEASE! LET THE MAYOR FINISH!!

Kliff: And, if you are Japanese, you will be alive. But, if you are alive, we expect you to come back here for further torture and Faust operation.

Venom: Played by his crazy self, Dr. Baldhead--

Faust (Interrupting Venom): I insist you do not call me by that name!

Chipp: Well, here I go. (Takes a deep breath and jumps down) SEISHO!!! [MASTER!!!]

Kliff (quick to assume Chipp is dead): Well, good people, we have sent another kind and stupid soul into the next life. (excited) NOW LET'S ALL GET DRUNK AND PLAY WHACK-A-BOB WONKINS!

Testament: I CALL CHARLIE!

(A large fiery explosion occurs behind them)

Chipp (riding on top of living kanji): WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's right! I really was Japanese!

Axl: So all those things you said were true!?

Chipp: HAI!

Millia: So you ruined my turnip crop! You asshole!  
  


Chipp (defending): No, those were face-huggers.

I-No: Impossible! I killed all the face-huggers!

Chipp (smiling wickedly): Not _all of them. (Turns I-No into an face hugger) And this, old man, is for making me jump off the cliff!_

(Chipp casts a spell that transforms the proud warrior Kliff into… a doll.)

Testament (crying): DADDY!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

(Chipp laughs evilly as he rides off on kanji, summoning spectral bats to go after the others)

Faust: AAAAAAHHH!! They're in my bag! They're in my bag!!

Johnny: My precious hair!!

Jam: YOU MEAN **MY** PRECIOUS HAIR!!

Millia: I DECLARE MYSELF HAVING THE MOST HAIR! NOW RUN!!!

Sol: Get off me!

(Scene change to a cave, where 2 people are sitting, planning something)

Anji: Well, shall another tsunami work against those villagers?

Baiken: You always insist on tsunamis! If it were up to you, baka, we would inflict them with nothing but massive tidal waves!

(Chipp flies in)

Anji: Ah, Chipp-san! If I knew you were coming, I would have made tea!

Chipp: What a day! Everyone found out I was Japanese, so I had to leave!

Baiken: WHAT!? YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU REALLY **WERE JAPANESE!?**

Chipp: I told you!

Anji: You were ignorant again, onei-san.

Baiken: Shut up!

(In a small house)

Jam (looking from a window): Look at them, plotting our demise my precious Ky. Their very evils can even make us stop our wanton acts of carnality.

Ky (to himself): Yeah, that'll be the day.

Jam (eying Ky): What was that, Ky?  
  


Ky: Nothing. Well, we shouldn't fear the Japanese, my dear. We're both perfectly healthy, you're in your mid-twenties, and maybe in 3-4 years I'll be twenty, and they're people just like us. They have to have hearts!

Jam (worried; slumps onto Ky): But think of our souls! I hear that the Japanese can take souls away from other people's bodies so that they can eat them!  
  


(As seen from a cauldron, Anji, Chipp, and Baiken, look into the TV-ish concoction)

Anji: Hmm… eat their souls…

Baiken: Jeez, we were just going to swipe their pies.

Chipp: HOLY ZEN! But a good idea, (creepy) is a good idea!!

(Anji, Chipp, and Baiken summon giant kanji to ride on, and they fly away into the night, cackling like witches; Baiken falls through hers)

Baiken: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--(splat)

Chipp: Is she alright?

Anji: Yep. She's fine. But she'll have to walk. 

(Both Anji and Chipp fly away)

Baiken: Wait up, you bastards!

(They make it to one house; Anji, Chipp, and an exhausted Baiken step right up to a house)

Anji: Ahem. (knocks on the door)

Venom: Who is it?

Anji, Baiken, and Chipp: Japanese!

Millia: Well, what do you want?

Chipp: We're here to eat your souls! Wait a minute… WHY IS MILLIA LIVING WITH VENOM IN **SIN**!?

Baiken: (smacks Chipp upside the head) Sure, yell louder, baka!

Chipp: Sumimasen! [Sorry!]

Venom (generous): Alright, come on in! (Opens the door, and) DARK ANGEL!

(The large energy ball goes through the door, but all three of them miss it)

Baiken (irritated): Oh please! (Walks inside) Now make with the souls!

(Chipp walks in, and sees a jar labeled 'Zato-1')

Chipp: Uh…

Venom: That's where his soul is.

(Chipp opens the jar)

Zato-1 Soul: So now, I will finally die.

Chipp: You'll be tasty. I like Spanish food.

(The three are about to leave)

Venom: Millia, do something.

Millia: Right. Perhaps, would you like some (brings out a tray) butterscotch souls instead?

Venom: They're low in fat!

(Baiken sounds interested)

Chipp: Leave it to women to want low-fats!

Anji: Right you are, Chipp-san!

Baiken: Shut up! (She takes a bite out of a butterscotch 'soul', and smiles happily) I can see myself eating this! I really can!

Chipp: Let me see. (Takes a butterscotch; bites it) Yum! (Swallows the Zato soul)

Zato-1 Soul: THANK YOU!

Chipp: Yuck! Real souls taste terrible after eating a gooey candy one!

Venom: ZATO-SAMA!!

(Some time passes; the three Japanese walk away from a house with fanciful treats)

Dizzy: Goodbye!

Bridget: Thanks for not eating Dizzy and the girls!

Johnny: Yeah, you Japs are all right!!

Chipp: Holy Zen! I got some candied orange wedges!

Anji: And I got caramel onion cakes! (Bites into it)

Baiken (eating candy one piece at a time): You know, scaring people into giving us treats is fun! We should do this, every year!

Chipp: Though I wished we ate a little bit more souls though. Oh well.

Baiken: Actually, I gorged myself tonight. When I fell through my ride, I took the liberty to devour some souls before I caught up with you guys. *Burp*

(The three now fly off into the distance; scene turns to Justice reading a book)

Justice: And that was the story of the very first butterscotch soul, (Realizes blunder) uh, I mean, Halloween! And it wasn't long, before this soul-claiming ritual, became an annual tradition.

(One year later; here, everyone, nameless NPCs and Guilty Gear characters alike are dressed up; we see some people, including Dizzy holding her baby, Johnny, Bridget, etc. seeing Sol [whom for strange reasons, dressed up as Jam] hurling Gun Flames at a house)

Bridget (a devil): Oh dear.

Dizzy (a nun): This can get messy.

Sol (yelling): C'mon! GIVE ME SOME DAMN CANDY! DON'T PRETEND YOU'RE NOT HOME!

Zappa (a wailing Japanese zombie): Um, Sol, that's **your house, mate.**

(Everyone's laughing at Sol)

Sol (feeling mean): The spirit that possesses Zappa sometimes is Japanese!

Potemkin (in a cat suit): Nice try, but she's already dead.

Justice (walks in): What's going on?

Sol: Ah, screw this! Let's kill Justice!

(Justice starts running from angry mob)

Justice: HELP ME, JEEBUS!!

--

Yeah…


	13. Slayer's Count Slayer

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

You can't sue me, because I already own this fic! NYAH!

--

(Here's chapter 12, boy-o! In the bustling Mayship, everyone is pulling their fair share of work in order for the ship to properly function. That means that all the girls, including May, Dizzy, April, etc. [With the exceptions of Bridget and Testament] are busy as bees. But where's that king bee, Johnny?)

Johnny (in the captain's room): Ah, there's nothing like relaxing. I wonder what's on the old TV. (Johnny turns on the old TV)

Potemkin (as a news reporter): And, that little kitten, played with that fluffy ball of yarn, well into the night. In other news, the northern suburb of Dusseldoffen, close to Romania, was destroyed in terms of all the townspeople losing their blood.

Johnny: … WHAT!?

Faust (to Potemkin): I have done some research, seeing that I am not only a doctor, but was once also a serial killer; I can see into their vile minds. I have diagnostically found out who is behind the attacks, and that would be… Lone Wolf SIX.

Lone Wolf SIX (who just happens to be in the vicinity): WHAT!?

Potemkin: I'll get him! GIGANTOR!

Faust: SCALPEL ATTACK!

(Potemkin and Faust chase said author)

Johnny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(This is heard throughout the ship)

Bridget: What's his problem?

Testament: Maybe he ran out of hot water.

Johnny (running past people he sees): The villain that sucks the plasma out of the living are the living dead! Rotting flesh! Bat-transformations! The robbing of the souls!

(May, Dizzy, Bridget, Testament, and April look at him funny)

Johnny: … VAMPIRES!

May: But Johnny, you told us yourself that vampires were make-believe, like goblins, elves, and Japanese people.

Johnny (fingers on his temple): May, you're Japanese.

May: WHAT!? Wow! I'm a legend!

Testament: May, because of that statement, I am ashamed of humans once again.

Johnny: I'll turn on the big TV. (Johnny turns on the big TV)

Potemkin: And in other news, the rich Romanian by the name of Slayer has just bought the local blood bank for charity.

Slayer: Well, I do believe that the proceeds I have spent will reward the people who need--What do you mean I have something on my lips? Oh yes. (Licks off some fluid) Precious blood.

Dizzy: Sounds tempting.

(Everyone looks at Dizzy)

Dizzy: What?

(A door-bell rings)

Bridget: Huh? I thought we were flying!

Johnny: I thought so too… I'll get it. 

  
(Johnny sees outside; suddenly, a bat flies into Johnny's face)

Johnny: AAAAHHH!! AAAAHHH!!! CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!!

April: A flying creature in your hair?

Johnny (starts crying like a sissy girl): YES!!!

May: It's just a cute little bat.

Bat: Yeah, and your mama didn't love you!

May: I'LL KILL YOU!!

Bat: Wait! I only bring an invitation! (Drops it from a magical nether-region)

Testament: What **kind** of invitation?

Bat: An invitation to Slayer's mansion in the heart of Romania: Transylvania!

Bridget: I'm hungry.

Johnny: Me too.

(Some time later)

Johnny: Ahh… that was some good bat.

(Oops! I mean: **Some time later**; The Mayship docks, and here, our friends walk up to the door of a lavishly built castle)

Testament (whistling in awe): Sweet.

April: I'll ring the bell! (Examining the door) But… there's no bell. We can't get in!

Johnny: Brains, April. Use that big brain with that sexy waist of yours! If there's no bell, knock on the door.

May (hearts in her eyes): Johnny's so smart!

(Johnny knocks on the door; a door opens and a shadow demon whose arms seem to be dangling on with little effort pops up in front of them)

Dizzy (scared): AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Jumps into Bridget's arms; Yes, this was done for my purposes)

Johnny (screaming): AAAAAUUUGGGHHH!!! (Leap's into Testament's arms)

Testament: Get off me. (Drops Johnny) You sissy.

Eddie: Please, come right on in… Walk this way… (he eerily floats in towards the hallway)

Dizzy: Okay! (Mimics Eddie's floating)

Testament: He didn't mean literally, Dizzy.

Bridget: Aw, let her have her fun, Testament.

Testament (eying Bridget): You're only saying that because you want to 'get some' with my precious Dizzy.

Bridget (fully aware that he might get killed by Testament and/or Lone Wolf SIX's spirit): I already have.

Testament (blood red eyes): You son of a--

Johnny: Guys! C'mon!!

(In the dining room)

Slayer: Welcome!

April: You already said that!

Slayer (realizes blunder): Oops. My bad. Anyway, I am so glad to have you all here. I wish to discuss some vital topics. But first, help yourself to a drink.

Bridget (smells the liquid in the glass): Augh! Johnny, this is blood!

Johnny: Correction; **free** blood! (Drinks some) Yum! Copper-ish!

Bridget (tipping his glass so that it spilt on his dress): Oops! If you don't mind, we shall return after we clean ourselves off.

May: But I don't have blood on me.

Dizzy: Neither do I--

(Bridget uses some unseen Yo-yos to knock the glasses onto May and Dizzy, and dragging them away)

May: Ewww… I got blood all over me…

Bridget: Don't you guys think that something's up?

Dizzy: But, that man seems so hospitable.

Bridget: Dizzy, just because someone acts hospitable, it doesn't mean that their intentions are good. He could be plotting something evil.

May: Aw! You always think someone is plotting something evil!

(The three notice a sign saying 'corpse room')

May: That's just a coincidence.

Bridget: Well I'm checking it out! (Walks down some steps)

Dizzy: Wait up! (Follows after)

May (shrugs shoulders): Might as well.

(The three walk down a spiraling stair case; when they stop, they see coffins… a LOT of coffins)

Dizzy: I'm scared!

May: Shh! You'll wake the undead… 

(Dizzy, panicked, starts screaming loudly)

May: Way to go, Dizzy.

(The undead starts to climb out of their coffins/tombs/ovens/etc., all of them desiring flesh, brains, and something yummy in their tummies.)

Dizzy: Let's beat it!! (They run)

May (looking at a switch as Bridget and Dizzy leave): Super Happy Fun Slide? Well, you only live once. 

(May activates the switch; the stairs turn into a slide, making May act like a little girl)

May: WHEEEEEEEE!! This is fun!! WHEEEEE--(sees zombies) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! (hits ground) Ow…

Slayer (appearing from the darkness): Oh goody. I always wanted to try _Japanese food_! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--

May: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

(Back with the other two)

Dizzy: Johnny! Testament!

Bridget: He's a vampire!

Johnny: Huh? Where's May?

Dizzy (she looks back; scared): Where **is May!?**

Slayer (with blood on some teeth): Why, over here.

May (zombie-tone): Hello Johnny. Hello pirate companions. I have missed you during my untimely absence.

Johnny (oblivious): Good to hear. C'mon guys, let's go!

(Back on the Mayship)

Johnny: Oh god, I'm so hungry… I need to eat something… (walks past May's empty [?] room) May? May?

(In Dizzy's room; she hears a tap on her window)

Dizzy: Huh? That doesn't seem right… (opens curtains; sees a vampire May) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

May: Hey Dizzy! You should be a vampire! It's so cool! You get to stay out all night, drinking blood!

Blackheart ZERO (also a vampire now): And, you could easily pick up a boyfriend by turning **him** into a vampire! And I mean a **real** boy, not that girly man Bridget.

Dizzy: No! NOOOOOOOO!! I WILL NOT!

May: Dizzy, it's not like you have a choice here!

(May breaks through the window, grabbing Dizzy, and extending now-revealed fangs to get a good bite out of the Half-Gear)

Johnny (bursts in): HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GIRLS; WHEN IT'S LIGHTS OUT, I **MEAN** LIGHTS OUT! (realizes) Oh my God! You really are a vampire!!

Testament: You must die once and for all! HAHAHAHA!

(Testament charges, with scythe in hand, at… Blackheart ZERO, cutting his head off, dropping corpse and all)

Blackheart ZERO: AAAAAAAHHHHI'LLGETMYREVENGE!! (Splat)

(May laughs evilly, turns into a bat, and flies away)

Bridget (walks in): What's wrong?

Dizzy (runs into Bridget): It was terrible! May… she tried to kill me!

Johnny: I guess that means only one thing… We have to kill whatever foul fiend turned her into a vampire!

(Testament, Bridget, and Dizzy look at him as if he said something stupid; wait, he did)

April: I think it was Slayer.

Johnny (feels stupid): I was… oh hell, I can't cover that up. Let's go!

(Back at Slayer's castle; Testament, Johnny, and April walked towards where the 'corpse room' was labeled; But where's the other two?)

April: Probably doing each other…

Johnny: OOH! Super Happy Fun Slide!

Testament: No, Johnny!

Johnny: Aww…

(The scythe Gear and the pirate girl make it all the way down)

April: Where's Johnny?

(The stairs turn into a slide; Johnny slides down, screaming like his GGX2 death scream)

Johnny: That was awesome!

Testament (vein in neck): WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?

April: Look! (Points to a coffin that looks the scariest out of all of the other coffins; she opens it to see Slayer sleeping soundly with his wife Sharon) The vampire lord!

Johnny (unsheathes katana): It's time to die, undead lord of the night! JOHNNY SPECIAL! (Johnny performs a Johnny Special)

Testament (sickened): Um, Johnny, that's his _crotch._

Johnny (embarrassed): Oops! My bad! (Places katana right above his heart) JOHNNY SPECIAL!! 

Slayer (dying): AUGH! ECH!! OHH!! AAAAAHHH… (Disintegrates)

Johnny: I wonder if we get an award for this…

Slayer (comes back): No reward!! (Disintegrates)

Johnny: Dammit! Then it wasn't worth killing the undead master of the night!

(A small scream is heard, then May crashes through the roof)

April: You okay?

May: WAY TO TURN ME BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF FLYING!!

Johnny (picking his ear): Sorry.

(The next day at the table)

Dizzy: Ah. I'm glad everything's back to normal now.

Kliff (flying in, wearing a traditional vampire outfit): I'm a vampire! I vant to suck your blood! (Didn't watch where he was flying; hits a wall) Ow… I can't feel my side!

Dizzy: What!? Mr. Kliff's a vampire!?

May: We're all vampires, Dizzy!

(As if on cue, May, Johnny, April, and Testament helping his father Kliff up start floating eerily)

Dizzy: But, you killed Slayer!

Johnny: Yeah, but we killed him so that we could regain dominance! You must kill the **real** vampire lord!

Testament: Which is me! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Dizzy: TESTAMENT!?

Testament: Well, I do have a life outside of caring about you.

(The vampires lunge at Dizzy, but a Yo-yo snags all of them)

Johnny: OW!  
  


May: This wire's chaffing me!

April: I'm CLAUSTROPHOBIC RIGHT NOW!!

Testament: WHAT SMELLS LIKE CHEESE?

Bridget: Hey Dizzy.

Dizzy (fuming): PERVERT! (Slaps him)

(Wait a minute…)

Sheo Darren: WHAHAHAHA!! Now, I will further manipulate this story so that the precious half-Gear will never speak to that British chap again!  
  
TRUE Unknown: Not if I can say anything about it! Begone, vile fiend! (Bitch-slaps Sheo Darren)

Sheo Darren: OWIE! (Boom!)

TRUE Unknown: Now… To fix what he has altered…

(Back)

Bridget: What was that for?

Dizzy: I… I don't know what came over me… (Hugs him)

--

Sol: And that is a wrap!


	14. Anji's House of the Damned

Guilty Gear Specials

--

I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

You can't sue me, because I already own this fic! NYAH!

--

(Here's chapter 13; Anji, Chipp, and Baiken have been traveling for 3 days; their clothes have been tattered and torn [for some of them, even more so than usual], and they are hungry)

Chipp: Holy Zen! If I don't get food soon, I'll die!

Baiken: And my hair is a mess! We need to find a place to stay!

Anji: But where is a place that can suit drifting Japanese like us?

Baiken [angry]: AHEM! [Points to Chipp] Wannabe here is not Japanese!

Chipp: What!? I am so Japanese, obaa-san! (Grandma!)

Baiken [unsheathes katana]: Now you die!

Anji [stops both of them]: Wait! There's no need for bloodshed! Look!

[Anji points to a lonely-looking house, with broken windows, creaking shutters, the whole shebang that makes a house look creepy]

Chipp: Holy Zen! This place is giving me the creeps!

Baiken: I'd rather be outside.

[It starts to rain badly]

Chipp: I'D RATHER BE INSIDE! [Dashes past Anji and Baiken, and into the house]

Anji: WAIT UP, CHIPP-SAN!

Baiken: I'd rather be out in the rain, than with two idiots! 

[Lightning strikes a tree branch and it crashes, falls, and burns, **all right behind Baiken**.]

Baiken [sweat drop]: … Lightning never strikes the same spot twice.

[Lightning cleaves said tree in half]

Baiken [now scared like a sissy girl]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

[Inside she runs; she bumps into Anji]

Anji: Took you long, onei-san. Lightning frighten you?

Baiken: Shut up! [Trying to cover up her fear] I was, uh, worrying about how you idiots would've stupidly killed yourselves. [To herself] That will do.

Chipp: Hey! Guys! I think other people are living here!

Anji: You're kidding!

[The three of them walk around, until they slink by a corner; they jump out]

The three of them: AAAAHHH!!!

Another three: AAAAHHH!!

[Everyone is clutching their chests, their hearts beating like personified jackhammers]

Anji [sees Bridget, Dizzy, and Testament in front of them]: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE!?

Testament: What!? I'd like to cut your chests good, rip out your hearts, and ask you the same question!

Bridget: **We** were simply waiting for May and Johnny, but then took shelter when it started to rain.

Dizzy: I got all wet.

Baiken [glaring]: I got wet too, but you don't see me crying, you little whiny girl!

[Thunder; Dizzy, scared by the loud booming sound, instinctively makes a shriek, and jumps into Bridget's arms. Likewise, like a scared onna (wife), _Chipp_ jumps into Baiken's arms--oh wait… _arm_.]

Baiken [drops Chipp]: Baka. If baka was in the Japanese Dictionary, you would be right beside the damn word!

Chipp: Well, looks like were gonna be roomies!

Testament: Goody. 

Dizzy: I'm gonna check the kitchen! [Drags Bridget and Testament too]

[In the kitchen]

Dizzy [kawaii-bishoujo eyes]: This is the perfect KITCHEN! I LOVE THIS PLACE!

Bridget: If you think [Sees a weird portal; disturbed] that there should be a weird portal-like thing in the wall, then yeah Dizzy, it's perfect.

Testament: I wonder… [Grabs an orange, throws it in; it gets sucked into the dimension] Ah…

[Testament's bird flies a little closer, and it gets sucked into the dimension too, squawking in terror]

Testament: NOOO!! [Tries to jump in, but is stopped by the other two]

Dizzy: No! We don't want to lose you, Testament!

[A crumpled ball of paper hits Testament in the face]

Bridget [picks it up; reads it]: Stop throwing edible objects into our dimension. Sincerely yours, the Outer World Dimensional Agency

[Of course, since I'm mean, bones of a once-proud bird come up through the portal]

Testament: WHYYYYYYYYYYY!? [Testament breaks down and cries]

[Meanwhile, Anji, Baiken, and Chipp are wondering around the upstairs]

Anji: This seems cozy.

Mysterious Demon Voice: Get… out…

Baiken: You don't scare me! I'VE HAD MY ARM AND EYE RIPPED OUT BY GEARS! UNLESS YOU'RE A REALLY BIG FREAKIN GEAR, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT--[and she goes on like this]

[While she was talking, something was making her float up and up and up until her head touched the ceiling]

Anji: Um, onei-san!

Baiken [mad that she got interrupted]: WHAT?

Chipp: We can see your panties!

Anji: Right you are, Chipp-san!

Baiken: Huh? [Looks down] OH KAMI-SAMA! HOW DID I GET UP HERE!? [The spiritual force drops her] AAAAAAAAAHH!! [hits her face]

Chipp: Did that hurt?

Baiken [angry sarcasm]: No, that was very relaxing.

Chipp: Aw cool! Hey Mr. Force! Do that to me!

[Now it's Chipp's turn to be levitated; it moves him to the stairs]

Chipp: Wait a minute! Baiken-chan was sarcastic!

[At the bottom of the stairs]

Bridget: Where did the others go?

Chipp [being hurtled to the ground on the ground floor]: BAKEMON GA! (MONSTER!) [Hits the ground] Ow…

Bridget [sweat-drop]: Maybe we should turn in for the night.

Chipp: I agree with you!

[Everyone heads to a room in the upstairs area; it is now in the darkest of night]

[Chipp's Bedroom]

Mysterious Demon Voice: Chipp… Oh Chipp…

Chipp: Are you the voice of my long dead sensei?

Mysterious Demon Voice [taken back a bit]: I, uh… Yes… it's me, Chipp. I am, uh, proud that you have out-mastered me.

Chipp: REALLY!? HOLY ZEN!

Anji [voice almost as clear as day]: Chipp-san, please, these walls are very thin!

Chipp: Sorry.

Mysterious Demon Voice: Now, prove yourself to me. Kill those who will potentially kill you back.

Chipp: You mean my friends?

Mysterious Demon Voice: … Yes.

[In Baiken's room]

Mysterious Demon Voice: Baiken… Oh Baiken… Your katana, Baiken… Kill the idiots…

[Baiken grabs her katana, unsheathes, and places it on the dresser; she runs her thumb on the blade; she mutters a curse and then smiles evilly]

[Elsewhere]

Dizzy [near-possessed; evil; no longer innocent]: They're all against me. They all must die.

[Downstairs; a light is on]

Baiken [evil]: Anji… oh Anji…

Anji [wispy]: I'm in the kitchen, onei-san.

[Baiken sees Testament walking evilly towards the living room; Baiken follows. Before long, Chipp, Baiken, Testament, and Dizzy are circling each other, with the wanton ability to maim each other]

Mysterious Demon Voice [more treacherous now]: Die… DIE… EVERYBODY DIE…

[Meanwhile]

Anji [voice still wispy]: Why's my voice like this? I need a drink. [gets a glass and drinks some water from the tap] Ahh… Much better! I don't sound like I'm possessed or crazy.

Bridget [walks in]: Couldn't sleep too? I bet the rain kept you up.

Anji: Indeed it did, miss.

Bridget: Heh. I get that a lot.

Anji: Huh?

Bridget: I'm a guy.

Anji [caught off guard]: NANI!? [calm] Oh I see. You must have led a rough childhood; never been hugged? C'mere! I'll hug you!

Bridget: AAAAAHH!!

[Bridget runs from Anji, and sees the Guilty Gear Isuka-style fray happening with the other four, throwing Gamma Blades, Setsujins, Nightmare Circulars, and Imperial Rays around]

Anji: Odd… what's causing them to fight?

Bridget [flings his yo-yos; one to wrap around Dizzy's ponytail, the other on Testament's ear]: C'mon you two! STOP IT!

Dizzy: Ow! What are you doing!?  
  


Testament: OW! PLEASE NOT THE EAR!

Anji [goes right up to Baiken and Chipp]: GIGA STOPPING FANS! [smacks them both in the back of the head]  
  


Baiken [screams like a little girl]: OWWW!!

Chipp: HOLY ZEN! I'VE LOST MY EQULIBRIUM!

Bridget: What made you guys attack each other?

Baiken: Hell if I know!

[The walls get all funky, and it appears that the house is… bleeding… too… Oy]

Mysterious Demon Voice: GET OUT!!!

Chipp [not fazed]: Hey! Can you do that again? You know the one where you make the walls bleed?

Mysterious Demon Voice: You don't own me!

Dizzy [going to say something Academy-Award worthy]: Is the reason that you're trying to kill us is because you're afraid of liking us? Maybe even loving us? [the contest's over; give her the award]

Mysterious Demon Voice: LEAVE ME ALONE!

Necro: Oh don't you dare say that to Dizzy!

Mysterious Demon Voice: LOOK PAL, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU OR THAT LITTLE HUSSY SAY--

Bridget, Testament, and Necro: WHAT!?

[Big mistake]

Anji [sensing evil]: Guys, we should run.

[Anji, Chipp, and Baiken run]

Necro: Yeah, you know, we could have just let this episode go a little longer, yeah, but now, you're dead! And now, Dizzy and us are going to kick your ass!

Dizzy: Do I wanna kick his ass? [Testament whispers what a hussy is to her; really OOC] That bastard!

[Outside, Anji, Chipp, and Baiken watch as the house moves around in pain, and when they blinked, all that was left was charred wood and blood]

Baiken: Chipp, if you say Holy Zen one more time, I'm going to cut you so deep, I can fish out of it!

Chipp: How'd you know?

Anji: Aw man! I MISSED IT!

[The others are now panting, charred, and losing some of their clothes because of the sizzling of demon house]

Dizzy: Well, that was fun…

Testament: Indeed… Now I'm gonna get a cold because it's still raining…

[And how do they escape this little situation? Someone gave them a ride? Who? Oh, let's just say… the tab's on Sheo Darren.]

--

Sol: I wasn't even in it!


End file.
